The Blood Rose
by 4AMurderofCrows
Summary: A merry band of miscreant's, castoffs and disgraced nobles follow a pirate throughout Ferelden in hopes of stopping a blight. That sounds like the start of every bad adventure tale. Luckily, there's rum.
1. Chapter 1

The Blood Rose

A Dragon Age Origin Fiction by

4AMurderofCrows

 _What if there was a third choice for the human origin? Join the retelling of Dragon Age Origins from the perspective of our unlikely heroine, The Blood Rose. A Pirate Captain. **This story is NSFW**_

The Tavern is filled with smoke and city folk, creating a thick atmosphere that suited the Blood Rose just fine. She sat with her back against the wall at her corner table, her hood remained drawn to obscure her striking features and her more recognizable characteristics. A reputation was good in some circumstances, in this case however, keeping a low profile was key.

She was grateful that the Arl took most of the guards and soldiers with him north to Highever, some war to the south or so she heard. Still, she did not wish to tempt fate. She did, after all have a size-able bounty on her lovely head. No thanks to Isabella.

She watched the crowd for her contact and trouble. He was late, considerably so in fact. She was about to pay the serving girl and take her leave when a man entered the tavern. He was tall, his face rugged, yet handsome, his dark hair pulled back into a pony tail and his beard trimmed short. A gold earring glinted in his ear and instantly, she knew who he was. At his side another hooded figure, slight enough to be an elf, solid enough to be a human. She tilted her head in thought, ' _Ah_ ,' she thought to herself, ' _the Cousland girl. Daft_ _man_ _! What is he thinking?!_ '. She smiled within her hood and waited. It would only be a matter of time before Duncan of the Grey Wardens would find his way to her table. She leaned back in her chair and ordered a pitcher of Ale and two more mugs. She would have company soon enough.

Duncan scanned the busy tavern, she would be here. Somewhere. Though usually no one knew when and where she would port in Ferelden, Duncan kept tabs on the woman closely since their last encounter. She would not evade him forever. Amaranthine had the added advantage of a smugglers cove beneath the city.

He searched the crowd and found no sign of anyone matching her description, until his eyes flitted over a lone figure at a shadowed table in the corner. The barest outline of the person sat in a corner, the glint of candle light reflecting off an eye made him smile.

"Follow me, keep your head down and your hood up," he advised the figure at his side.

The girl at his side nodded and then followed him as he made his way through the crowded room. Once he reached their destination he turned to make sure his companion was still at his side. When he was assured that she was and that she still remained anonymous he turned back to the shadowed figure, "May we join you?"

The figure let out a husky feminine laugh, "Duncan, you know you never have to ask." The figure gestured to the two empty seats and watched intently as Duncan sat down.

"I am relieved to find you here, I hoped you would not have set sail yet," he poured himself an Ale and one for his companion, who took the cup tentatively from him.

The figure in the shadows sat forward and the face beneath the hood became visible, and even though it had been years, Duncan still felt the familiar flush of desire at the sight of her full red lips. "You should not have brought her here," the woman scolded.

Duncan took a long pull of Ale, "Aye, but I had little choice. I had to vacate her from her home rather quickly. She would be dead now, otherwise. I need her."

The woman quirked her lips, "For the Wardens?"

The warmth of her laugh mitigated the irritation he felt at her implication that he had saved the girl for himself. "A blight is here. I need you too."

"And if I asked you that question again, what would your answer be?" she asked with mischievous twist to her lips.

Duncan fought back the urge to growl and pull her into his lap, but only barely. The tension between the two was palpable enough that the young girl at his side switched her attention between the two in dawning realization that he wished she was not perceptive enough to figure out. Instead of continuing on this dance he reached across the table and grasped the woman's hand. "You know I need you. I cannot do this alone, nor would I want to do this without you at my side. I do not have much longer, Carina."

The smile on the woman's lips thinned to a frown and she squeezed his hand, "I hate it when you insist I have feelings above my belt."

He chuckled, "Indeed." He turned to his young companion, "I would introduce you, but, I am afraid that I cannot risk anyone overhearing either of your identities."

"At least you've thought that bit through," the woman replied with amusement. "I have some business to take care of. I shall meet you outside the city within the hour. This time, I expect you to be there."

A pained expression flitted over Duncan's face, "I will be."

The woman nodded and rose from her seat, she moved away from the table and then disappeared soundlessly into the crowd.

"Are you going to tell me who that woman was?" the girl at his side asked in bewilderment.

"An old friend," Duncan replied.

"Not... more than that?" the girl teased.

Duncan looked down at her with a stern expression, "I may be old but that does not mean that I have stopped living, young lady."

A giggle escaped his companion, "As you say, ser."

Two hours later Carina found Duncan and the Cousland girl waiting for her as she had requested. She favored Duncan with a smile as she lowered her hood. The girl predictably gasped at her face. She gave her a wide smile causing the girl to blush. Which, made Carina smile wider.

"Why, she's charming Duncan," Carina purred. "Have you told her yet who I am?"

Duncan turned to the Cousland girl and gestured to Carina, "This is the Blood Rose, Captain of the Widow's Lament."

Carina bowed to the young Cousland her eyes on the young woman and a jaunty smile on her lips. She was dressed in her normal attire having stowed her cloak for later use in her satchel. Her Leather long coat made a whisper of noise on the ground, as she straightened from her bow. Her red curls drifted into her face momentarily and she brushed it away in irritation before shifting her attention to Duncan. Her good eye sparkled like an emerald, a blaze of color in contrast with the black patch over her right eye socket. An eye she'd lost during her first year at sea over ten years ago. A scar peaked out from beneath the patch indicating how grave an injury it was, it blazed white against her golden skin.

"And while I know her family name, I would certainly like to hear what lovely name this beauty is called by," Carina smiled flirtatiously at the girl.

Duncan reddened in slight anger. "This is Elissa Cousland, daughter of Teryn Bryce and Teryna Eleanor Cousland. Both of whom are gone now," he said pointedly.

Carina's smile fell off her lips, "My apologies and my sympathies. I am pleased to meet you Lady Cousland," She said to the girl. Who had gone from being as red as a tomato to white as a sheet from Duncan's comment.

To her credit the girl took a deep breath and put on a determined expression, "I am pleased to meet you as well, Carina. I have heard stories of your...exploits. I am told that you are the deadliest woman on the high seas."

Carina threw her head back and laughed heartily, "No doubt what you've mostly heard is what the old poop has told you. Duncan is a good man and he tends to conveniently forget that I am not a nice person," she reached out and patted Duncan's cheek affectionately. "Still, he remains the most charming rogue in all of Thedas, so I can forgive him for trying to ruin my hard earned reputation."

Duncan scowled at her but was still gentle when he removed her hand from his face with his own, "Yes, well. Now that we have introductions out of the way. We are heading south to Ostagar. The Blight is here and that is where the Darkspawn Horde have gathered."

Carina let the seriousness of that statement carry the conversation forward, "Are you certain?"

He nodded, "The Archdemon has not yet shown itself, but, the horde gathers in the Korcari Wilds. King Cailan is leading the army against them. The Wardens are gathered at the Orlesian border and await my signal should we fail. Loghain has managed to convince the King that we do not need more than a handful of Wardens."

"Loghain!" Carina grumbled, "That sour bastard is still alive?"

Duncan chuckled and motioned for the women to follow him on the road. They could travel and talk at the same time. "Yes, and still the general of Ferelden's forces."

Carina shook her head as she toyed with the handle of the dagger on her hip, "That makes me uneasy. Before he left for Highever there were messengers in Amaranthine from Gwaren. No doubt that grumpy prick is in league with the oily son of a bitch somehow. Do you think there might be a chance that Loghain could make a move on Cailan during the battle?"

The hard set of Duncan's face said more than anything he could say. Carina shook her head. "Maker's breath!"

Elissa stared at the lady Pirate with wide-eyes, "You think that the Hero of Riverdane is going to commit treason? He was Maric's best friend! Why would he betray his friends only son?"

Carina glanced at the young woman and smiled patronizingly, "You are adorable."

The girl glared at her and her cheeks turned red against her pale skin. Duncan sighed, "Don't tease her Rose."

Carina chuckled, "Fine." She turned a more serious expression on the girl, her emerald eye glinting dangerously. "Loghain would do anything, including slicing Cailan's throat himself if it meant that Anora could keep her pert little arse on the throne. You don't ever let your guard down around that one, you hear me girl?"

Elissa nodded, not knowing what to say. Carina smiled again and let the silence fall on the three of them comfortably. It was after all a long way to Ostagar.

They made good time in traveling, not much was said on the first night they made camp. Carina did not expect Duncan to seek her out that first night. On the second, however, once Elissa had finished the first watch and woken Carina for the second watch, Duncan had joined her at the edge of camp.

"You pick a fine time to want to talk, love," she stated non-nonchalantly dragging the whetstone across her dagger. She gestured to a spot on the boulder beside her.

He settled next to her, his armor was gone, replaced with doeskin breaches and a white tunic open at the neck. She let the warmth of his body near her own seep into her, relishing his presence after what felt like eternity apart. "I know I left suddenly-" he began but was cut off by a dagger to his throat and her full lips scant inches from his own.

"You said you would leave with me!" she hissed.

"I know," he said evenly.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I had something to finish before I could commit to you fully," he replied. "I needed to take care of my duty and once it was done, then, I would have found you after."

She scowled at him and then removed the dagger from his throat. "And now, we have a blight. Duncan, your duty to the Warden's will never be done. I thought we talked about this, I was fine with putting into port whenever you needed. Why did you let this take you away from me?" she demanded.

Duncan reached out and caressed her cheek, his thumb slipping sensuously over her lower lip, "Rose, it was not the Wardens that took me from you. I found...Maric's other son."

She pulled away, "His what?!"

He grasped her upper arms with his large hands gently, holding her still for his revelation. "Fiona, had a boy. A boy that did not die in child birth. He resided with Eamon for a time, then the old fool gave him to the Chantry. I retrieved the lad, he is now in my care."

Carina's bewildered expression made Duncan sigh, "I had to take him, he was a week away from his first lyrium draught."

"Maker's breath!" Carina swore. "Eamon's idea? Addict him to Lyrium and throw him to the Chantry so that he can't threaten Cailan's rule?"

Duncan nodded and set his forehead against Carina's, "I owed Fiona and Maric so much more than that."

"Of course Loghain would allow it, his daughter on the throne, ruling at Cailan's side. If she didn't produce and heir and Cailan were to die, then it would fall to Maric's bastard. Better to make him a Lyrium addled twat who can't even find his sword let alone use it," she pulled back far enough so that she could see into Duncan's eyes. "What is the lads name?"

Duncan laughed, "Hardly a lad, he's older than Cailan by a few years. Nearly thirty, not much younger than you."

Carina snorted indelicately, "Duncan, age is but a number." She tugged his beard affectionately, "A fact of which you are quite skilled at reminding me of."

He smiled at her and pulled her to him, her breasts pressing against his chest. He took her lips with his own, tasting her for the first time in over two years. She tasted of salt and spiced liquor and a flavor distinctly her own. He deepened the kiss and felt her relax under the onslaught of his lips, opening for him.

When he pulled away she was smiling, "My charming rogue, I missed you." She stroked her hand down his chest and stomach then palmed his length. "It seems you also missed me?"

He rose from the boulder, taking her with him to a patch of soft grass, he laid her down and then laid down beside her. She gazed up at him, "Duncan, it has been too long. Do not ask me to wait again."

"Never," he declared and started removing her clothing, each patch of skin revealed was lavished with kisses. He savored her slowly, committing her every movement and sound to memory.

When she was divest of her clothing he made short work of his own and then knelt before her. He watched her face intensely as he parted her legs slowly. He traced the inside of her thigh with his fingers downward until he reached her center where he slipped a finger into her warmth, testing her. She bucked upwards and he twisted his hand and inserted another digit, rubbing upwards in her channel. She gasped at the feel of his rough fingers parting her as he worked them in and out. "Please," she begged.

He said nothing but removed his fingers and replaced them with the tip of his hardened length at her entrance. He looked to her face for permission. In answer she growled and kissed him fiercely, "Do it!" she ordered.

He chuckled darkly and tilted his pelvis forward, pushing into her fully in one stroke. They both moaned at the contact.

She wrapped her legs around his hips and used the leverage to move her hips in rhythm with his own, rising to meet him on his downward stroke. The friction was delicious and built until they were both teetering on the edge, then Duncan grabbed her up into his arms and flipped them so that she was astride him. He rose to meet her as he pulled her hips downward. The new angle driving him deeper and she came undone around him. Duncan's release was explosive inside her, he sheathed himself as deeply as he could, claiming her.

When it was done and they were both spent, she rolled off him into the grass at his side. They both gazed upwards at the star in silence. "You will not leave me again," she said matter-of-factually.

"No," he agreed.

"You swear?" she turned and rose up to her elbow to regard him with a brilliant emerald orb, which, suspiciously glistened with unshed tears.

"I swear that I will not leave your side until the Maker takes me," he swore.

She nodded, "The Maker can't have you. I have too many uses for you, yet."

He laughed, "Aye, my lovely Rose. That you do."

The trio made it to Ostagar the next day. Elissa being oblivious to the goings on the previous night, found herself being reminded of her Mother and Father. Duncan and Carina settled into the familiarity of a couple who have been together for many years. He carried the Pirates pack, she filled his water skin, wiping water droplets from the Senior Wardens beard after he finished drinking deeply from it. She watched them both with an ache in her heart that had her withdrawing into herself most of the way to the ruins.

Carina, not one to endure awkward silences, threw her arm around the girl and chatted away, making it impossible for the girl to brood. Duncan swelled with pride at the sight of his love taking the girl under her wing. For all her crudeness and her bluster, she was a good woman. He did not have much time left. A few years if he managed to survive this blight, but, if he did. He planned on spending it with her.

Duncan slowed to a stop when he saw a glint of gold up ahead on the stone highway. "That would be his Majesty now," Duncan pointed to the figure in the distance, waiting for their arrival at the entrance.

Carina snorted, "Idiot! Could he be persuaded not to wear the gold armor? Or is his goal to actually attract the darkspawn? He really is Maric's boy, isn't he?"

Duncan bit back a laugh, "That he is. Though I would thank you to just let me handle the talking where the King is concerned."

Carina rolled her eyes, "If you must, you always were far better at bullshit than I."

Elissa's jaw dropped, and Carina chuckled. She reached out and closed the girls mouth for her, "Try not to catch flies, love."

Duncan gestured for the women to follow him and soon after they met up with the King and his entourage on the road. "Ho, Duncan! There you are, I was worried you would miss all the fun!"

Duncan grimaced, "Not if I can help it, your Majesty."

Cailan grinned foolishly and then turned his attention to the women, "And these are your recruits from Highever?" he asked as he stepped in front of Elissa. "You are Bryce's youngest, are you not? I don't think we've ever officially met."

Elissa curtsied, "Yes, your majesty."

"No doubt you are anxious to see your brother, he and his men are off scouting in the wilds. We await your Father's forces, how much longer do you think he will be?" he asked her.

Elissa lifted her chin bravely, "He's dead, Sire"

"Dead?" Cailan repeated disbelievingly and then looked to Duncan for confirmation. "Duncan, do you know anything about this?"

Duncan went on to explain to Cailan about what had happened to Elissa's parents, the girl was shaking visibly. Carina moved closer to the girl, ready to offer comfort if need be. However, she managed to get through Cailan's childish rantings and suddenly they were left to themselves on the rode watching the glinting gold of his Majesty's ceremonial armor wander off to the Warden encampment.

"Cailan seems confident of the chances of success," Carina noted.

Duncan shook his head, "He is convinced that having us on the field will make him invincible. Honestly, if it weren't for Loghain I don't know that we would have fended off the horde as much as we have. I was hoping that Highever forces would provide a buffer and support the King should something happen. Sadly, we are left to our own devices at the moment."

Carina chuckled, "You mean, you want me to keep an eye on Loghain?"

Duncan nodded and then turned to Elissa, "Go find Alistair, he's the junior Warden here. Tell him to gather the other recruits. Carina and I will await you at the main fire. He'll know where that is."

Elissa took off towards the ruins and left Duncan and Carina to make their way to the camp, "So," she said, pulling her hood up. "I shall maintain a quiet presence in the camp. You will have a tent, yes?" she asked.

He nodded, "I will meet you there. Keep out of Loghain's sight. We can't afford for him to know you are here."

She rose up on her toes and kissed his cheek, "You worry too much."

He watched her move off silently into the camp, disappearing into some nearby brush and shook his head, "If only that were possible."

It was late afternoon before the recruits joined Duncan at the fire. Preparations for the joining ritual had already begun, all that was needed now was for the recruits to collect darkspawn blood and to retrieve the treaties from the ruins to the west. Alistair was given Duncan's only map of the area and the four of them set off. Once they were gone Carina seemed to melt into view from the shadows.

"What did you learn?" he asked her.

She looked at him gravely, "Not here, follow me."

He followed her to a secluded crumbling tower out of the way of camp, the area had not been disturbed for some time, indicating that they themselves would not be disturbed. When she finally came to a stop she lowered her hood, and the setting sun lit her hair ablaze with it's light. Had she not such a dire expression on her face he would have kissed her passionately just then.

"Duncan, Howe and Loghain are planning on abandoning Cailan on the field when the darkspawn flood in. Loghain has manipulated Cailan by mocking him to a point where the boy just wants to prove to the miserable bastard that he can win this battle. Loghain is letting Cailan lead the charge and he will act as though he intends to flank the darkspawn. However, just as the darkspawn flood the field he will signal his men to retreat."

Duncan's brows knitted together, "He plans on letting the darkspawn kill the King?"

Carina nodded, "I have a missive from Howe stating that he has removed Bryce Cousland from the equation and that an apostate is on his way to Redcliff to poison Arl Eamon. Once Loghain quits the field he will have no one to oppose him. He plans on taking Cailan off the throne and declaring himself Regent."

This startled Duncan, "He plans taking control over the throne from Anora?"

She shrugged, "Loghain is perceiving threats to Ferelden from the darkspawn, Orlais and the Wardens. He believes that his daughter needs him to usurp control to defend Ferelden from usurpers. He is quite mad, Duncan. I think Howe is using it to his advantage, providing Loghain with just enough information to make Loghain think Orlais will try to attack Ferelden in it's weakness. Meanwhile the sleazy son-of-a-whore takes Highever and declares himself Teryn."

Duncan shook his head, this country was tearing itself apart just as a blight clawed at the land. They could ill afford civil war at this time. "I do not know if I can convince Cailan that Loghain is a traitor. He's known the man since he was a boy, he married his daughter. Maker's breath..." Duncan leaned heavily on the stone wall. He looked at her with fear in his eyes, "I don't know how I am going to save him."

Carina reached into her pocket and retrieved her flask of rum, she took a swig and offered it to him. He saluted her with it and took a drink before giving it back to her. She drank again, a thoughtful expression on her face. "You are going to die on the field with him if you stay by his side," she replied bitterly.

"I cannot abandon him," Duncan replied.

"I know," she said and took another drink. "Why do you always get yourself knee deep in horse-shit?"

Duncan chuckled despite the situation, "If I didn't, you'd be deprived of the joy of pulling me out of it."

"Arse," she said affectionately. She put her flask away and looked up at the stars. "I feel lost without my ship. The Sea cares not for darkspawn or Kings. Even at her angriest I like her better than I like this."

"What do we do, Rose?" he asked her and pulled her into his arms. He kissed the top of her head.

"I could kill him," she replied. "Even the bloody Hero of Riverdane will fall to a knife in the gullet just like any other arsehole."

Duncan was quiet for awhile, "But, then we'd have Howe to contend with. He's managed to remove the Cousland's and by now Eamon is dead. If Cailan lives, how do we explain Loghain's death?"

"Can you talk to Cailan?" she asked. "Get him to change this plan so that we may have more time to gather more evidence against Loghain?"

"I can try," he said and dropped a kiss into her hair.

Later, after leaving Carina in his ten, Duncan found himself in Cailan's. "Your Majesty, if I might have a word alone with you?"

Cailan nodded and sent his guards outside, "See that we're not disturbed," he ordered.

The guards bowed and left the tent. Duncan regarded the young King with trepidation. He was about to tell him that his own father-in-law was plotting his death, he did not look forward to this conversation. "I have...dire news, Sire."

Cailan sighed and then sat down in a chair, then gestured for Duncan to sit opposite him. He poured himself a brandy and one for Duncan. "I can only imagine it must be quite serious with that dour look on your face."

"You know that the Cousland's were murdered by Arl Howe. However, I have just learned that he has also sent a mage to Redcliff to poison your Uncle, Arl Eamon," Duncan watched the King's expression become pained and then angry.

"That grasping little toad!" Cailan growled. "This country is falling to chaos around me, Duncan. I fear I shall not be around to deal with the aftermath."

Duncan narrowed his eyes at the King, "Then you must know that Loghain intends to quit the field and leave you to be overwhelmed by the darkspawn."

Cailan nodded sadly, "I've known for months. I have my own spies and sadly, I have few allies. Loghain planned this coup well."

Duncan stood and paced back and forth, stroking his bead in thought. "Cailan, you cannot go out onto the battlefield tonight."

Cailan shook his head, "I cannot change things now, Duncan. If I were to live Loghain would concentrate all his efforts on killing me and Howe on discrediting me. I would end up in a noose and the country will fall to the blight. We would be unprepared. At least, I go to my death striking a blow against our enemy. I need you to concentrate on gathering allies with these treaties of yours and come to Ferelden's aid while she wars upon herself. My people will suffer greatly if you do not. Swear to me Duncan!" The Kings impassioned speech caught Duncan off guard. Cailan was always a good man but never one to be serious.

Duncan nodded, there seemed to be little else that could be done. "Sire, I will go to battle at your side."

Cailan shook his head, "Someone needs to make sure that Alistair lives. He and the Cousland girl will be the best hope for this country. She is the only one that is a suitable match for him. You will need to make sure he ends up on the throne. Travel to Redcliff, gather proof that Eamon's death was part of Loghain's mad plan. Other evidence for his treachery will exist as well, I'm sure of it. Please, try to keep Anora out of it. I do not believe she is part of this."

"Cailan," Duncan knelt at his King's feet. "I swore to your Father that I would protect you and your brother with my life. I will fulfill my promise. I will make sure that Alistair is protected but I will not abandon you."

Cailan set his hand on Duncan's shoulder, "You are just as crazy as Father always said you were. Still, there is no one that I would rather have at my side, here at the end."

"No!" Carina replied angrily. "This is not acceptable, Duncan. _This_ is suicide!"

Duncan spread his hands helplessly, "What would you have me do?"

"Come with me," she glared at him with her good eye. "We will sail from Amaranthine and travel the Waking Sea to Orlais and get the rest of the Wardens. The Widow's lament is big enough to transport thirty soldiers. We can have them in Ferelden within the month. I can get more if I send word to Isabella. The Siren's call can carry twice that number. How many times have you told me that one Warden equals five good soldiers on the battlefield?"

Duncan sighed and approached her slowly not wanting her to pull away from him. When she didn't move away from him he pulled her into his arms, "I cannot leave him to die, Rose."

"Then drag him from the field and we will bring him to Orlais, too," she replied.

"How would it look if Ferelden's King fled his country during the blight?" he reasoned.

"So the answer is for him to die and for you to sacrifice yourself? No! Do not try and talk your way out of this you bastard!" her voice cracked and she let out a strangled sob when Duncan held her tighter. "Please, there has to be some other way!"

"Rose," he soothed. "I am dying. If the blight doesn't kill me, I have only a handful of years left to me."

"The calling," she sniffled. "I know. I know!" she punched him in the arm. "I hate this!"

He stroked her hair and kissed her head, "I know, Rose. You have been the one thing in this world that has kept me going all these years. The time we've spent together has given me so much happiness. I hope you know that."

She cried harder and clutched at him. He let her. Once she was done she pulled away from him and looked up at him, her eye pleading, "Make love to me one last time."

He took her lips fiercely and laid her down on his bedroll. And once they were divest of clothing he entered her without preparation, and they both cried out at the friction. He left no part of her untouched by his lips, tongue and teeth. Her flesh seared itself into his memory, the scent of her hair, the feel of her around him, the weight of her breasts in his hand. The intensity in her gaze. He withheld his seed as long as he could, prolonging her pleasure for hours until he could no longer restrain himself and came with a roar inside of her. She clutched him to her, shaking and crying quietly.

"I love you," he whispered to her.

"I love you too," she said.

"I'm sorry, Rose," he offered.

"As am I," she buried her face into the hair on his chest and trembled. She feared for him, for them all.

After they dressed they made their way to the camp and waited for the recruits to come back.

 _._


	2. Chapter 2

The Blood Rose

A Dragon Age Fan-fiction by 4AMurderofCrows

Chapter 2: Your Tainted Heart

Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Poor me.

It was dark by the time the recruits came back. They reported in to Duncan while casting curiously glances at the woman leaning against the stone pillar. Duncan took pity on them and gestured for Carina to join him.

"This is an old friend," he said ignoring her amused expression. "Her name is Carina. You may know her as the Blood Rose or Captain Blood of the Widow's Lament."

"Andraste's knickers!" Daveth swore. "The Blood Rose!"

"Duncan," Alistair interjected, "what is she doing here? The Korcari Wilds aren't the usual stomping grounds of pirates."

"She is here at my request," he replied. "Her skill at battle, strategy and subterfuge will help a great deal in the days ahead."

"You expect more trouble than just darkspawn," he questioned.

Duncan nodded, "I will explain further, however, now is not the time. We shall begin the ritual shortly."

"Good, I am eager to see this ritual," Jory piped up impatiently.

"As am I," Elissa agreed. "Will you tell us about it, Duncan."

Duncan looked to Carina, wondering if he should divulge the details in front of her. Seeing her set her feet and her face harden he sighed. She should not be here or at the joining. He turned to her, "Carina, if you would leave us? I will catch up with you later."

She regarded him with a raised brow. "Oh, this is the secret bit that I am not supposed to know about?" she snorted as he gave her his Commander of the Grey expression, "As you wish." She bowed mockingly and walked away from the group.

When she was at enough of a distance for the Grey Wardens and their recruits to have dismissed her presence she ducked into the shadows. She watched as the recruits discussed the upcoming ritual with their Commander. They were too far away for her to hear anything but she didn't need to. She knew that they were not ready to start. The ritual still needed to be prepared by the mages.

Finally the recruits headed toward the ruined temple and Duncan toward the Mages tents. She watched him go from her shadowed alcove. She could follow him, but he'd know doubt sense her. She waited until he passed her then she slipped out of her alcove and trailed after the recruits. They did not notice her flitting from shadow to shadow while they bickered back and forth over the darkspawn and the secrecy surrounding the ritual they were about to face.

"The more I hear about this joining, the less I like it," she heard Jory complain as she slipped into the nearby bushes surrounding the temple.

"Are you blubbering again?" Daveth sneered.

"Why all these damn tests? Have I not earned my place?" Jory ground out.

"Maybe it's a test," Daveth needled. "Or maybe they're just trying to annoy you."

The young Lady Cousland pinched the bridge of her nose, "Will the two of you shut up?!"

"Yeah Ser Knight, try not to wet your trousers," Daveth taunted.

Jory scowled, "Look I only know I have a wife in Highever with a child on the way. If I had known-," he shook his head. "It just doesn't seem fair."

"Would you have come if they warned you?" Daveth asked. "Maybe that's why they don't. The Wardens do what they must, right?"

"Including sacrificing us?" Jory asked incredulously.

"I'd sacrifice a lot more if I knew it would end the blight," Daveth replied with conviction.

"You make a good point Daveth," Elissa chimed in. "Still, it does little good to talk about it now."

Jory folded his arms, "I've just never faced a foe I couldn't defeat with my blade."

At that moment Duncan approached them with a pack in his arms. "So now," he intoned, "we come to the Joining.

Carina crept closer so that she could hear Duncan over the knocking together of Jory's knees. "The Grey Wardens were founded during the first blight when Humanity stood of the verge of annihilation. So it was that the first Grey Wardens drank of Darkspawn blood and mastered their taint."

"We're-," Jory regarded Duncan with a mixture of horror and disbelief, "we're going to drink the blood of those...creatures?"

Duncan set his pack down on the table in the clearing and then approached the recruits, "As the first Grey Wardens did before us, as we did before you. This," he said gravely, "is the source of our power, and our victory."

Carina covered her mouth stifling a gasp. Darkspawn blood was poison, it swept through the body corrupting flesh until it reached your heart and devoured your very soul, leaving nothing behind. It was no wonder Duncan was dying. The calling, it was nothing short of Darkspawn corruption fully taking the Warden it possessed. This is what plagued Duncan with nightmares.

She watched the ritual proceed and froze in horror, Daveth was the first to imbibe the deadly concoction and died as she half expected him to. Surely some would survive? Then when the knight from Redcliff backed away from Duncan pulling his sword in defense Carina could no longer hide in the shadows. This was lunacy, the Warden's did what they must, but did innocents really need to die so that one out of a handful could survive to gain what little advantage they could of the darkspawn menace? There had to be some other way. Still, she was too late to stop Duncan and Jory died with no thought but that of seeing his wife and child again. She made it to the Cousland girl in time to pull her away from Duncan and behind her as she pulled her own daggers, facing the man she called lover.

"Carina!" Duncan exclaimed then glared at her, "Do not interfere! Move out of the way, it must be completed."

"Duncan, please," she tried to reason with him. "this isn't necessary."

Duncan shook his head and approached her as though she were a wild animal, his hand held up in a placating gesture even as his dagger was still raised in the other, "There is no turning back. She has pledged herself to the Grey Warden's. The taint is what helps us defeat them, it was too late the moment she agreed to join us."

"You're obsessed with Darkspawn! So much you'd kill an innocent girl to destroy them! You cannot defeat them by killing your recruits!" she growled defiantly, her attention was so focused on Duncan that she neglected the fact that Alistair was on her blindside, she relied on the fact that Alistair was a bumbling reckless young man, it never occurred to her that he was capable of quietly getting close to her. Until it was too late and suddenly she was grabbed by large arms, pinning her own against her sides like bands of iron.

"Put me down!" she demanded.

"Hold her, Alistair," Duncan commanded. She expected him to start explaining to her, to try and make her see reason but as she struggled, the only thing she saw was a man made of stone, advancing on the Cousland girl as though he was death himself, come to collect a long awaited soul.

The Cousland girl herself regarded the pirate with a weak smile, "It's OK. I swore I would defend the land against the blight. It's what I want, even if I die, at least I will have died trying to make a difference."

Carina struggled harder, "No! You don't need to do any of this!"

The cup was given to the young noble woman and she paused to look into the liquid blackness, as though contemplating her death, and then she raised the cup to her lips and drank. Once she had drained half the goblet she handed it back to Duncan who took a step away from her to allow her some room while the taint took hold of her. She doubled over and moaned as if she were about to be sick, then her head snapped up and Carina gasped when she saw that the whites of the young woman's eyes obscure the once pretty blue iris's.

She managed to struggle enough in Alistair's grip that her heel caught him in the groin and he released her, sinking to his knees in pain. He growled and tried to grab for her and she danced out his reach. She pushed past Duncan with a glare and caught the girl just as she lost consciousness.  
"Why?!"

He regarded her stonily, "Because it is necessary. She will live, and if you were anyone else right now you would be dead. I wish you had not intruded. Now, I only have two choices left to me. Condemn you to my fate or kill the only woman I have ever loved."

She glared at him, "Would you really kill me, Duncan?" She was startled when he met her eyes with steel in his normally warm gaze. It was suddenly startlingly clear, while he claimed to love her it was nothing next to his devotion to defeating the blight. He would kill her, if she pushed this any farther. The Warden's secrets were sacred and she had broken his trust. She had forced him into a corner and now she hissed and spat at him like an angry cat.

"Alright, love. I'll make the choice for you," she sneered the endearment and grabbed goblet out of his grasp before he could say anything else. She tossed back the bitter liquid that tasted like vomit and blood.

"From here on out, Carina. You, are a Grey Warden," he intoned gravely as the world swam and then started spinning. "Maker have mercy on us all."

Fire lanced through her midsection and she doubled over from the pain, sinking to her knees she looked upwards trying to find Duncan but seeing only blood and fire and the biggest most horrifying bloody Dragon she'd ever seen. Screaming began and she wanted to tell someone to shut the bloody woman up because she was trying to die in peace, only she realized that the screaming was her own. Blissful darkness claimed her and then she knew nothing more.

"It was actually kind of brave and selfless of her," the voice of Alistair pointed out seemingly from miles away.

"Blasted woman!" Duncan growled and in the silence she could imagine the black look Duncan was giving Alistair in that moment even as she kept her eyes closed. "I can appreciate your trying to be diplomatic, Alistair, but she is reckless. I've often wondered how she hasn't died before now. Now, I have to live with the fact that she'll succumb to the taint eventually. If you were me could you honestly tell me that you'd be happy knowing the person you love just poisoned herself in front of you?"

"I suppose not," Alistair conceded. "Still, if she's as skilled as you say, and I believe you after the way she crept up on all of us, then perhaps we need her in this fight. Much more than just an ally. Maybe she'll be a great Warden," he pointed out. Duncan's grunt of acknowledgment spurred Alistair to further plead her case. "Look, I don't pretend to know everything that's transpired between the two of you. But, she's certainly a determined woman who has had to do some pretty extreme things to survive, if that eye or lack of it is any indication. You may know her well but none of us truly knows what someone is capable of until we give them a chance."

There was some silence and then, "You are wiser than you let on, Son."

A soft chuckle, "Well, I learned from the best, right?"

She couldn't handle all the gooey heartfelt declarations anymore, especially since they were talking about her. "I'm alive, please stop trying to poison me again with all this sickly sweet emotional tripe."

Alistair snorted, "Here I was just starting to like her too, kick to the groin aside."

Carina opened her eyes and squinted up at him, "I'm much more likable with a bottle of rum and a fair wind, lad. Next time ask before you wrap your arms around a woman."

Alistair's ears blushed and Duncan gave a long suffering sigh, "Leave him be, Rose."

Ignoring him she sat up and groaned as her muscles protested from her extended position on the stones beneath her. "That hurts."

Duncan snorted in amusement, "Suffering the consequences of bad drinks and poor choices isn't something new for you, love."

She huffed a laugh and mock-glared at him, "One of those choices being you, as I recall. I'll not argue the bad drinks part, however, that darkspawn stuff is shite." She looked around and noticed that the bodies had been cleared with the exception of the Cousland girl. "How is she?" she rolled to her feet slowly and tried to stretch as she made her way over to the girl.

Duncan rose with her and followed her closely, and just like that, the animosity between them was forgotten in the face of her concern over her fellow newly made Warden. He doubted very much she knew exactly what she'd gotten herself into. Still, that she survived at all was a miracle and one that he was not about to take for granted.

"She will recover shortly, much like you have."

She turned and looked up at him. Her face was pained. "I still don't agree with the brutality, Duncan."

He regarded her impassively and she sighed, "I think I understand why, however."

"Ooh," the girl moaned, interrupting the momentary exchange between the pirate and the Warden Commander. "Am I dead?"

Carina knelt by her side and laughed in response. "Not nearly, love. How do you feel?"

"Like shit," she replied and squinted at the woman. "You're not dead either."

Carina chuckled and tucked the young woman's dark hair behind her ear with affection that stung Duncan momentarily. The attention that she was giving the young woman was nothing more than was normal for the Pirate woman. He had to remind himself that it was just who she was.

"Well spotted, darling," Carina teased and her smile widened at the young woman's blush. "As delicious as teasing you is, however, the Commander is eager to give us our marching orders."

Duncan sighed, he supposed he was going to be on the receiving end of her taunting for some time after this. He shook his head and helped the Cousland girl to her feet.

"Welcome to the order Elissa," he offered formally.

"There is one more part to your joining," Alistair interjected as he stepped forward. "We take some of the blood from your joining and put it in a pendant. A reminder of those we lost."

Elissa took the pendant from Alistair and slipped it over her head. She regarded him with a sad smile, "Thank you."

He then turned and offered a pendant to Carina who stared at it as though it would bite her. He rolled his eyes and stepped forward, slipping it over her head. "Big scary pirate, scared of a little necklace."

She snorted, "Damn sexy Pirate with better taste in jewelry than foul smelling blood-filled reminders of death. But yes, honor our dead, their sacrifices, be vigilant...all that shite. Thank you, for the pendant."

Alistair shook his head, the look on her face said she was honored, even if her words were irreverent. He looked at Duncan and wondered if this was one of the reasons why Duncan occasionally got exasperated with him when he tried to deflect things with humor. Maker, that was an uncomfortable revelation.

Duncan offered him nothing more than a knowing smile as Alistair stepped away from Carina. He eyed her as he did, contemplating this new revelation. Perhaps, she'd fit in better than he thought she would.

Carina threw her arm over the Cousland girls shoulders and smiled at Duncan, "So, what are the orders, Commander?"

Without showing any emotion Duncan turned to Elissa, "Elissa, the King asked for your presence during the war council. Carina, go with Alistair to the camp. We'll meet you there shortly."

"Why me?" asked Elissa.

"I don't know," Duncan replied honestly. "Perhaps with your lineage he seeks to congratulate you personally?"

"Sounds like fun, mind if I tag along?" Carina asked cheekily.

"No, go with Alistair. Loghain will be there too, you know it would not do to let him see you," he replied.

"Oh, I don't know," Carina tilted her head to the side. "The sour prick would have to look past his abnormally large nose long enough to see me. He might not notice me at all."

"Do as I say!" Duncan snapped.

Carina straightened and regarded him curiously. This wasn't a side of Duncan she had ever seen before in regards to her person. A shift in their relationship had happened somewhere between the moment she decided to spy on the Joining ritual and the moment she swallowed darkspawn blood. At the moment they were not lovers and Duncan had no time for them to discuss it. Neither could he afford her to be insubordinate now. This situation had spun out of control and now he must regain it if they were to have any chance of success. She pulled her arm off the Cousland girl and regarded Duncan with respect. If nothing else, he deserved that much. After all this was done, she'd be running off to the Widow's Lament and he'd be…well, if he was lucky he'd be dead in battle, escaping the pain of the calling.

"Aye, Sir," she bowed and then grabbed the arm of a gaping Alistair. "Come on, let's bugger off while they do their important bits."

Duncan watched her go, his face unreadable.

When they were back at the Grey Warden encampment Alistair got her a bowl of stew and they sat down to eat. "So, you and Duncan…?"

"Me and Duncan, what?" Carina gave him a predatorial grin.

Alistair belatedly realized that now might not be the time to discuss it but had already brought it up, might as well drag it all out in the open, "He loves you, you know?"

She took out her flask and took a swig of rum before offering it to him, he looked at it and then shook his head in refusal. She shrugged and took another drink. "Love doesn't tame the wild sea, nor does it prevent a blight from spreading. Whatever he might feel and whatever we might have, Duncan will always be married to the Order. So it really doesn't matter, does it? We're Grey Wardens now, damned to die by blade or madness."

Alistair sat down next to her, "Hey, being a Grey Warden isn't all that bad."

She snorted, "Alistair, I'm a fucking Pirate! I have my own ship, my own crew, no one orders me around and if I so choose I could have my pick of the finest pieces of arse this side of the Anderfels. You honestly think I'd have chosen this life over the one I already had?"

Alistair blushed and cleared his throat, "Well, no, I suppose not. Still, being a Grey Warden is kind of permanent. It's not like you can just leave."

She laughed bitterly, "Trying to get rid of me already? I'll not give up my ship. Duncan be damned, I _still_ think that I can retrieve the Orlesian Wardens and have this over with in less that a few months. The stubborn arse cares too much about what his nibs King-Shiny-Arse will think if we leave."

"Hmm, well," Alistair grimaced, his expression slightly jealous, "the pompous git always did get what he wanted. A battle to end all battles against an ancient foe, the famed Grey Wardens at his side? He'd probably squeal like a little girl if there were actually still Griffins to ride into battle."

Carina laughed before ruffling his hair, "Don't worry, lad. You're still his favorite."

Alistair mock scowled at her, "Hey! Leave off the hair!"

"I am glad to see the two of you are starting to get along," Duncan's gruff voice interrupted their banter.

While Alistair jumped to his feet, Carina drew herself up slowly, knowing that soon, the battle was going to start and that Duncan was about to throw himself into the fire for Cailan. She was about to lose him. "So, Commander, what's the plan?" she prompted, knowing the plan already.

"Alistair and Elissa are to light the beacon atop the Tower of Ishal, when the beacon is lit then the Teryn's men will charge," Duncan said.

"What?!" Alistair exclaimed incredulously. "I'm not going to be in the battle?"

"This is an important part to play Alistair, you and Elissa are Grey Wardens and I expect you to act as such," Duncan admonished.

Alistair looked disappointed but knew better than to argue, "Alright, I get it, I get it. Still, if the King ever asks me to dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line. Darkspawn or no."

"I think I'd like to see that," Elissa teased.

"For you?" Alistair flashed her a charming smile, "Maybe, but it has to be a really pretty dress."

That earned a chuckle from Carina and a sigh from Duncan. Alistair himself looked pleased with himself. "What about Carina?" Elissa questioned.

"She'll be going with you," he said.

"We don't need a babysitter, Duncan." Alistair narrowed his eyes suspiciously on his mentor.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Sweetheart," Carina took a swig from her flask and put it back into her belt. "It's me who needs looking after, isn't that right Duncan? We can't have me sneaking off and trying to get back to my ship before you're ready to give me my assignment. It distresses me how little you actually trust me," she purred. It was all an act, of course. Their earlier conversations over Loghain's plan meant that she needed to watch over the two royals-to-be. It was likely that she and Duncan wouldn't see each other again. She was meant to get the rest of their little party away from Ostagar once the beacon was lit. Loghain's betrayal was imminent.

"Alistair, Elissa? Would you give Carina and I a moment, she will catch up to you in time for the battle," Duncan asked.

The two younger Wardens exchanged a worried glance before leaving Duncan and Carina alone. She watched them go until they were out of ear shot. Then she turned to regard Duncan with a mixture of anger, sadness and love. "I hate you for dragging me here to watch you die."

He stepped forward and cupped her cheek, running his thumb over her skin below the patch covering her ruined eye. "I wish it had been different. Rose? Why?" he asked, frustration finally boiling over, he pulled her face to his and leaned his forehead against hers his hand buried in her red hair. "Why did you intrude on the joining?"

She took a shuddering breath, "Don't, not when you go where I can't follow. You always running off to fight, you never fight to stay! You damn fool!"

He leaned down and kissed her, taking her lips in a passionate kiss. He pulled her to him, her body flush with his. His beard tickled her cheeks and she felt her good eye burn with unshed tears the raw emotion in his kiss tore at her heart. When he pulled away her heart broke for the sorrow in his eyes that matched the sorrow in her heart.

"I wish that there was more time for us," he said apologetically. "I never wanted this for you. Please believe me, if things were different. I would be on your ship with you. I would fight at your side as you ruled the Seas. But, such is not to be, we've run out of time. I love you. I always have. I always will. Try to remember that when you're done cursing me."

He released her and turned only to have her grab him and pull him back to her, "No, you don't get away from me that easily!" she sobbed and kissed him hard, wrapping her arms around him as though she were holding on for dear life. When she pulled away she tried to smile but couldn't force her facde to complete the motion. She trembled in fear of what was to come. "I love you too."

He offered her a reassuring smile, but said nothing more, only backed away from her. Never had they said goodbye before, and they would not start now. When he was a few paces away he turned and strode off towards the Kings tent, leaving her to compose herself.

She took a deep breath, and wiped her tears off on her leather jacket. When she lifted her head and looked aroud she found Alistair and Elissa looking in her direction with concern. She snorted. They certainly hadn't gone far. Obviously their concept of alone was barely out of earshot. She squared her shoulders and strode off towards them and then past them ignoring them as they exchanged another worried look.

"Come now darlings," she called behind her, her voice full of more confidence than she felt. "We've a Tower to climb! A beacon to light and a blight to defeat!"

They hurried after her.

Alistair looked out over the swamp and tried to think of a reason to not abandon his fellow Warden's to attempt to go find Duncan. They'd watched from the top of the Tower while the darkspawn slaughtered everyone, all the other Wardens, the King...and Duncan. It was near impossible that any of them survived the onslaught. Loghain's forces retreated as soon as they'd lit the beacon. The exodus was so immediate that the betrayal was obvious. Loghain never had any intention of charging out onto the field.

Now, he was alone, with two new Wardens and no idea where to even go or what to even do. This was still a blight, and all the Warden's in Ferelden were destroyed. Loghain had taken care of that too, stopping the Chevalier and Orlesian Wardens at border. If they crossed it would be war with Orlais.

He rubbed the back of his neck and paced, "What are we going to do? Think, Alistair!"

"Perhaps you can start by speaking to someone, besides yourself that is," Flemeths voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Sorry," Alistair apologized without even really knowing why.

She raised an eyebrow at him, "No, not yet. Trust me lad, before this is over you'll be very sorry."

He barked a bitter laugh, "As if it could get any worse!"

She didn't say that it could always be worse, no doubt he truly didn't see how and it wouldn't do to frighten the young man anymore than he already was. "Your Warden friends should be waking up at any time now."

"Are you certain that they're alright?" Alistair asked.

She snorted, "I may be old, but, my mind is still sharp enough to apply poultices and brew healing potions, young man."

"Right," Alistair conceded.

"Alistair?"

He whipped around to find Elissa staring at him from the hut door, her eyes wide and frightened, "You! You're awake!" he rushed to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Maker, I thought you were dead!"

"See," Flemeth chuckled. "You worry too much young man."

"Rose is still asleep," Elissa said.

"Rose?" Alistair asked.

Elissa shook her head, "It's what...sorry, it's just...Duncan called her that. It's how I think of her."

Alistair pulled her to him tighter, "I don't know what we're going to say to her."

"The truth would be a good start," Flemeth replied.

"About what?" came a suspicious reply.

Both Alistair and Elissa turned to find Carina in the doorway, she was bandaged around her midsection and her breast band was stained with her own blood. She had stumbled her way out of bed to try and find someone familiar. Someone other than the swamp-tart she'd woken to find chanting some nonsense spell over her. Maker she was sick of being knocked unconscious. She glared at her fellow Warden's, "Go on, tell me what's happened, where's Duncan?"

They separated and looked at her sorrowfully. She bit her lower lip and nodded her head in acknowledgement of the truth, "Dead is he? Well," she coughed and winced in pain and then shuddered, "isn't that a bitch?"

"Are you-," Alistair started to ask and was silenced by a scathing glare.

"Piss off!" She growled at him. "I don't need to talk," she hissed. Then dismissing him she turned her attention to Flemeth, "Do you have a shirt I can wear?"

Flemeth inclined her head and gestured for her to follow her into the hut. "Of course, Grey Warden."

"Andraste's tits! Don't call me that," Alistair heard Carina say before they disappeared into the hut.

He looked down at Elissa, "Well, that went...well?"

 _Author's note- I must confess that this chapter took me longer than I thought. I rewrote it a few times. I apologize to anyone who was looking for an update sooner. I felt like the first Chapter was much easier to write. This one just seemed to not want to be written. I wish you all well._


	3. Chapter 3

The Blood Rose

A FanFiction by 4AMurderofcrows

Chapter 3: drown out the pain

Disclaimer: I own nothing

The trek to Lothering was a grim one, everyone save Morrigan grieved for their dead. Morrigan herself seemed to alternate between curiosity and disdain. The latter was mostly directed at Alistair. Elissa received some sneering from the young woman. Carina however seemed to earn a hesitant respect.

"Darkspawn!" Alistair shouted and drew his sword and shield.

"Good," Carina grinned and unsheathed her daggers. "Alistair," she called behind her, when he turned to look at her she indicated the emissary located at the back of the band approaching them. "You keep that magicked up meat sack from getting me. I'll deal with the rest."

Alistair looked at the darkspawn and then back at her incredulously, "What? By yourself."

"For fuck-sake Alistair! Just let me kill some shit, alright?!" she growled at him.

"Fine!" Alistair used his templar abilities to smite the Emissary for her, then he gestured exasperatedly to the rest of the darkspawn. "Kill away!"

She grinned maniacally before charging off into the fray. Her companions watched in horrified fascination as they observed her disappear in and out of smoke bombs and flash grenades. At one point Alistair could have sworn he heard her laughing. When it was over she was still grinning evilly. The darkspawn lay in various states of dismemberment and pools of black blood. Alistair's nose wrinkled in disgust when she picked a bit of darkspawn out of her hair and made a face like it was a spider or something less...oozy.

Carina stretched and then hunkered down to start looting the bodies. "Oh, you nasty bugger!" she hissed out when she found a necklace made of what appeared to be human fingers.

Alistair was still staring at her when Morrigan pushed past him with a sneer. "Fool! You stand around when we should be moving on."

"Morrigan, my soiled dove," Carina greeted her when the woman approached. The Pirate handed her a few lyrium potions found on the Emissary. "these are for you, darling."

Morrigan accepted them and stowed them into her pack. A thoughtful expression on her face. "You have my thanks."

Elissa joined Alistair and reached out, taking his hand in hers and squeezed it, "Alright?"

He shook his head and looked down at her and gestured at the pirate, "Does that look alright?"

Elissa shrugged, "Give her a break. She's dealing with his death the only way she knows how. However, I don't want to talk about her, I want to talk about you. Did _you_ want to talk about Duncan?"

"You don't have to do that," he assured her with a dismissive shake of his head. "I know you didn't know him like I did."

A flash of anger hardened her features and then it was gone, "That doesn't mean I don't mourn his death."

"I'm sorry," Alistair flushed guiltily. "I just, feel like I abandoned him."

"Alistair," she sighed. "You couldn't have predicted that this would happen, it's not your fault."

"I _could_ have saved him!" he growled and pulled his hand away from her. He began pacing back and forth. "Everything is so messed up right now Elissa! All the Warden's, Vince, Toman, Grigor…Duncan, I should have died with them! You don't understa-" he didn't get to finish the sentence instead he found himself with his arse in the mud and holding his throbbing jaw. He looked up at Elissa with a bewildered expression. "You hit me!"

She stood over him with her hands on her hips, "And if you don't snap out of it and realize that you're not the only one going through shit, I will do it a second time! I don't want to hear you ever say you should have died with everyone else again, do you hear me?"

Alistair scramble to his feet and advanced on her angrily, "What do you care? Huh, Princess? You're only here because Duncan probably thought you'd be politically convenient, being a Teryn's daughter and all. You probably only got to attend that war council so that Cailan could make cow eyes at you! A bunch of spoilt pampered arseholes talking strategy with more spoilt arseholes, and all of you with so many servants and wipers you probably don't even know how to take so much as a shite by yourself!" he ground out resentfully as he glared down at her.

"You take that back," she said in a low dangerous tone, her chin was lifted defiantly.

"Enough!" Carina was suddenly insinuated between the two of them and pushing them apart. "Elissa, my pet, will you go gather some Elfroot with Morrigan?"

Elissa narrowed her eyes at Alistair angrily before switching her focus to Carina, "Fine, maybe you can pull his head out of his arse," she said and turned on her heel.

Carina watched her storm off and sighed before she turned back to Alistair whose ears were an intersting shade of near purple. The freckles on the bridge of his nose stood out against the angry flush on his face. "She hit me," he huffed indignantly.

He looked shocked when she outright laughed at him, "Lad," she patted his shoulder, "women hit a man for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, it's because they deserve it, sometimes it's because you need it, and sometimes it's because they like you and you're too stupid to see it."

"Well, which one is this?" he asked with a confused expression.

"All three," she chuckled at his incredulous expression. "You're talented."

He snorted and then met her eye as if searching for something. "You know, she wasn't wrong. I'm not the only one mourning Duncan."

"Maker's breath! You can't handle anyone talking to _you_ about Duncan and you want to wheedle it out of me?" she asked him with a raised brow.

He shrugged, "You can hit me after if it will help. Still, if I have to suffer, I don't want to do it alone."

She looked at him as though he'd lost his mind and then took out her flask, "Fine. But, if we have to talk, then we're drinkin'."

He watched her take a rather large drink and then shrugged, "Fair enough, give it here. Liquid courage, right?"

She grinned and handed it over, "That's the spirit, Lad!"

He took the flask and took a large drink and spluttered out a cough, "What in the Maker's name is that? I thought you had rum in there?"

"You like that?" she smirked. "It has a little bite to it."

"Just a little? It tastes like a dragons arse!" he swallowed past the burn from the alcohol.

"Close, it's call 'Dragon Piss'," she cackled and took another drink, she didn't cough but made a face.

He watched her in awe and then laughed as a thought crossed his mind, "You know, you remind me of Grigor."

"Was he a sexy fellow with a knack for finding trouble?" she elbowed him good naturedly and then wandered her way over to a log against the fence along the road. She sat down on it and gestured for him to take a seat next to her.

"No, he was a burly man with a great big beard," Alistair replied and then outright laughed at her when she looked affronted. He then told her the story of Grigor who could hold his liquor against their whole Warden battalion. Alistair made her laugh when he told her about all of his companions had challenging Grigor to a drinking contest at the same time. Their laughter continued until he reached the part in his story where Duncan found everyone except Grigor passed out.

"I was told that Duncan laughed so hard he nearly...he-," Alistair took the Dragon Piss from her and then drank some more. "I'm sorry, I really need to get past this. I wish I could handle this as well as you are."

"I'm not really," she pursed her lips and took the flash back, her expression bitter. "He was an easy man to love. I just wish that he didn't have to choose between me and the Wardens."

He nodded sympathetically, "He saved me from the Chantry, did he ever tell you that?"

She hummed in acknowledgement, "Yeah, he talked about you quite a bit on our way down here actually."

"He did?" Alistair looked startled. "I know you two were close, but, did you both really plan on sailing away into the proverbial and literal sunset together?"

"That's just it, isn't it?" she sniffed. "Bastard was dying. He knew we'd never be together permanently. My coming down here was about me saying goodbye. He knew it, I knew it. It doesn't make his death any easier. I still think we could have found something to help him push it off a little longer."

He toed his boot through the dirt at their feet, "We're all dying, none of us gets to pick the when."

"Months, Alistair!" she said forcefully. "He had only months left! Ten years I waited for his stubborn arse and then...then he goes and throws it all away! For what? Hmm? He could be here with us now! Blast Cailan!" she shot to her feet and kicked a rock. "I always knew that Maric would be the death of him, and now he rots in a field full of putrid decaying darkspawn! Because Maric's son Cailan was too much of a coward to have Loghain arrested for treason. Heleft us! Duncan _left_ us!"

Alistair suddenly felt slightly ashamed of himself and got to his feet, without even thinking about it he pulled Carina into his arms and ignored how she stiffened, "He did. But, it doesnt mean he wanted to. You can't keep blaming him, or yourself. It's Loghain who's the real villian here."

She pulled away, and looked up at him with angry tears standing out on her cheek. "I hate Loghain. That fucking bastard will pay! They'll all pay! Every last fucking one of them. Every darkspawn and every noble arse who allies with that sour prig! Howe, that sick fuck. When we get our hands on him we're chaining his arse to a wall and locking him in a room with Elissa."

"Remind me to never make you angry at me," he chuckled. "You know, I'm beginning to understand why Duncan liked you so much." He wiped the tears off her cheek and released her from his hold. "Feel better?"

She snorted, "I will feel better when Loghain is at my feet begging for his life."

"Blood thirstiness is such a charming quality, did you know that?" he teased and handed her the flask.

"So I've been told," she laughed and then sniffled. She took another drink. "What about you?"

"I feel...hollow," he said and then picked up his pack. "At least I don't want to fall on my sword anymore."

"Good, I hear that hurts," she laughed and then offered him the flask again. "Let's hurry up and finish this before the girls get back, yeah? I got this from Flemeth's hut and it's the ghastliest swill I've ever had. Hopefully, I can get better stuff in Lothering."

He shrugged and took a swig and shuddered, "Ugh, you're right this is ghastly. It doesn't even kill your taste buds, it's like it wrestles them into submission."

* * *

When Elissa and Morrigan returned they found Alistair and Carina on the log singing drunkenly.

" _Ohhh, if vodka was water and I was a duck_ ," Carina sang. " _I'd swim to the bottom and never come up!_ "

" _But vodka's not water and you're not a duck_ ," Alistair slurred back.

" _So pass me the bottle and shut the fuck up!_ " she finished singing and then snickered. Which caused Alistair to snicker back.

"They're drunk!" Elissa exclaimed.

"I'm _not_ drunk," Alistair pointed at Carina and swayed slightly, "She's drunk!"

Carina snorted, "We're _both_ pissed. _Dragon Pissed_!"

Alistair giggled and tried to take a drink from the now empty flask, his face fell in comical disappointment, "Aww, all out of piss."

Morrigan snorted in derision and then turned to Elissa, "We must make it to Lothering by nightfall. Thankfully, it's not much farther. Still, I recommend that we get them moving if we wish to avoid camping so close to the wilds."

* * *

They managed to make it to Lothering without incident. Alistair and Carina had sobered up enough by then that they were able to take out their burgeoning hang overs on the bandits plaguing the remainders of the old Tevinter highway.

When night fell they procured a room at Dane's Refuge, there were only two beds and Alistair blushed violently before piling his armor in a corner. He sat down with his back against the foot of the bed nearest the door, "I'll take first watch," he stated and then took out an oil cloth and whetstone to sharpen his sword.

"Alistair, I'll take second watch," Carina offered. "Wake me when you're ready to call it a night, yeah?

He didn't answer only simply nodded while he drew the stone over the edge of his sword, causing a faint ring as he gragged it over the steel. Elissa and Morrigan divested themselves of their gear and crawled up on the other bed, both falling asleep immediately.

Carina shook her head and removed her own gear, then climbed up on the bed herself. It took her some time to fall asleep, the stillness of the bed below her made her miss her Quarters on The Widows Lament. There was no swaying of the sea to lull her into slumber. Still, exhaustion took over and she fell into a fitful slumber.

 _The flash of lightning overhead drew her gaze upwards. She stood on the deck of her ship and barked orders as she kept an eye on the black and green tinged sky. "Mr. Crowley!" she called to her First Mate._

" _Aye, Captain?!" he turned to her, his weathered face poking out from beneath shoulder length grey streaked hair._

" _Prepare to go Ahull!" she ordered._

 _He nodded, "Aye-aye Captain Blood!" he limped down onto the main deck from the quarter deck. "Lower the sails you sorry sons-of-whores! We sail directly into the Maker's fury!"_

 _Her crew scrambled around and she stood at the the Quarter deck, her eye trained on a dark spot in the ever darkening sky. The point of darkness seemed to grown larger and larger, taking shape. Soon she was able to see the faint outline of wings stretching out from the sides of the patch of darkness. Her eye widened. "Dragon!" she cried._

 _Her First Mate stopped berating her crew and turned to stare up at her only to follow her line of sight until he caught sight of the black figure rapidly approaching from the skies, "Holy Maker, deliver us from the clutches of the Old Gods!" he touched his forehead in the sign of Andraste and then snapped at the crew, "Prepare the Ballista's!"_

 _The dragon set upon them and it was unlike any creature she had ever seen. Where a dragon's smooth scales would be there was corrupted flesh and bone, where a lizard like eye would watch you calculatingly from it's jeweled green depths, there was only the milky white eyes of a long dead creature. It screamed before lighting the main topsail on fire. The fire spread like a living thing, crawling over it in a nightmarish speed. On it's next pass the creature dove for her, she tried to leap out of the way but she was thrown into the water. Luckily, she came up sputtering and gasping for air, clinging desperately to a barrel. She felt her strength waning and couldn't climb back aboard. She watched helplessly as the Dragon tore apart all she loved and burned it to ash, the screams of her crew piercing her heart._

"Rose," she startled out of her dream and threw a punch in the direction of the voice and the hands shaking her

Luckily, Alistair ducked. "Woah! Woah! Not the face!" he said releasing her and holding up his hands in surrender.

"Alistair?" she blinked at him then looked around and then scowled, "I must have been dreaming."

He nodded, "Particularly nasty one from the sound of it. I wouldn't have woken you, but you almost thrashed yourself out of the bed. I didn't want you hurting yourself."

She muttered a thank you and then growled, "I swear I am going to make boots out of that damn Archdemon!"

Alistair raised an amused brow as he plopped himself down on the bed and began removing his boots, "Sounds like a plan, I wonder how much a pair of genuine Archdemon boots would cost?"

She snorted, "Son-of-a-bitch needs to stay out of my dreams."

Alistair watched her get up from the bed and sit down where he'd been keeping watch. He winced as she brought out the flask again. "Do you really think it's wise to drink dragon piss after you've had a dragon dream?"

She shrugged, "Be fucked if I know, I found me some Sun Blonde Vint. Always did enjoy me a Tevinter Blonde."

Alistair rolled his eyes and laid down on the bed, and watched the firelight dance off her hair, feeling somewhat melancholic. "How did you get your name? Not Carina. The other one. The Captain Blood-Rose one?"

She eyed him as if trying to figure out if he was making fun of her, she took a deep breath and then let it out, "I was the Bloody Rose before the Captain part." She shrugged, "I earned a bit of a reputation as a beautiful hot head who had a bit of a blood lust. My hair was as red as the blood of my victims. Or some tripe like that."

"Charming," he commented.

She shook her head, "Being a woman on the open seas with a crew full of men who haven't put into port for months at a time is difficult, Alistair. I had to fight for everything I had, sometimes I had to fight to keep from being hurt or raped or killed. I moved from crew to crew until one day I found one with decent scally-wags instead of hardened criminals. Then I made them mine and I became theirs. Theives, beggars, braggarts, big hearted raiders. We're family. They're the only family I had, for a time. Until Duncan."

"What did he think of your evil reputation?" Alistair asked.

"I was just a Rose to him," her voice was sad and in a tone that said she was done talking. "Goodnight, Alistair."

There was a contemplative silence before, "Goodnight, Rose."

she didn't answer. When he was finally asleep she released a heavy sigh and looked over her sleeping companions, "What the fuck am I going to do, Duncan?"

* * *

Meanwhile, in Denerim…

Arl Rendon Howe entered Loghains study looking for all the world but a humble servant to the Hero of Riverdane's greatness. However, beneath the carefully contrived appearance he was a seething ball of greed and malice. He allowed himself to drop the visage long enough to sneer at the hunched figure standing by the fire.

"I have news, Sire," he affected a remorseful tone. "There are demands from the Bannorn that you step down from the regency, they are said to be gathering their forces. As are your allies. It appears that there will be civil war after all," he sighed. "Pity. There also seem to be Grey Warden's that survived Ostagar. How, I don't know. But, they _will_ act against you. I have arranged for a solution, with your leave."

Loghain turned around at that to regard Howe with a raised brow, his facial expression was distrustful, deepening when his gaze fell to the figure of a blonde elven man adorned with tatoos and armed with a sword and dagger.

"The Antivan Crows send their regards," the elven man smiled charmingly and bowed.

Loghain did not respond to the newcomer but turned his attention back to Howe, his eyes narrowed, "An Assassin?"

"Against Grey Warden's we must take all precaution," Howe replied placatingly.

"And you'll need the very best, and," the new comer smiled, "the most expensive."

Loghain frowned and turned away from them both to gaze back into the fire, "Just...get it done."

The Antivan Crow bowed again and left Howe alone with Loghain. Howe stood and examined his regent. The man looked troubled, and this pleased him. Soon, Rendon Howe's station in life would match his ambition. He would sit on the throne and Anora would rule at his side...for a time. As for Loghain, he would join Bryce Cousland. Cold, and dead, and beneath Rendon Howe's feet. Where all that dared to go against him belonged. Satisfied, he excused himself and smiled at the non-committal dismissal he received from Loghain.

* * *

They left Lothering with their needed supplies as Morrigan promised. They also managed to obtain some extra coin, a shiny new sword for Alistair, and two shiny new (more or less) travelling companions. Both piqued Carina's interest. Leliana, a Ley Sister in the Chantry, and Sten of the Beresaad.

She'd encountered quite a few Talvashoth in her travels and was thus unsurprised when Sten pulled her aside and asked her what her role in their company was, "I don't understand, you look like a woman."

"Probably because you're a Beresaad dipshit," she joked. "Hmm, how to make this easier for you?" she thought about it and then pointed to herself. "Bas-Benhasreth," she said by way of explanation.

He lifted a white brow at her, ignoring her name calling, and then inclined his head in grudging respect, "Thank you."

She grinned at him. This would make her leadership much easier for him to deal with. The antaam, the vanguard of the Qunari people, they are sent out as a way for the Qunari to know the world. Sadly, they don't usually have Benhasreth with them so that they can have that world explained to them. It gave them a very narrow view point and made them difficult to deal with. Carina much preferred interacting with Ben-hasreth if she could manage it. There was one she'd met on a stop over in Seheron years ago, He called himself The Iron Bull. Magnificent bastard...she thought fondly.

"Do you know Hisraad?" she asked him.

He simply looked down at her as if waiting for her to explain.

She rolled her eyes at him, "Never mind, Sten. Let me know if you require anything."

"Thank you," Sten said simply and then went back to watching the rest of their camp with a stoic expression and a wary eye.

She shook her head and moved away from him. She ended up sitting next to Elissa on the young woman's bed roll, the treaties spread out before them. Elissa pursed her lips and her brow furrowed when she was deep in thought.

"You know," Elissa thought aloud, "we could go to Redcliff."

"Redcliff!" Carina wrinkled her nose. "For what?"

Elissa's eyes found Alistair on the other side of the fire out of earshot. She lowered her voice just in case, "Alistair seems to think that Eamon will help us. Evidently the man raised him."

Carina turned to observe Elissa, who was looking at Alistair with sympathy and maybe a touch of fondness. She smiled before schooling her features. "Eamon's a twat and his wife is a crazy whining sow."

Elissa burst out laughing and then poked Carina in the side, "How would you know?"

"Duncan told me that Alistair was orphaned at birth. Eamon took Alistair in as his Ward. The Arlessa talked Eamon into dumping Alistair off at the Chantry to undergo Templar training. All because Isolde was a jealous snotty Orlesian hag who thought Alistair was Eamons bastard! Evidently he refused at first until Isolde threw a tantrum and threatened to go back to live in Orlais with her parents," she took out her flask and took a drink. "So, Twat and Crazy Whining Sow sound just about right to me."

Elissa shook her head and turned her gaze back to Alistair who was unstrapping his chest plate, "That sounds horrible. How old was he?"

Carina shrugged, "Maybe you could ask him?" She watched Alistair struggle with his armor and chuckled. "While you're at it, help him out of that before he hurts himself."

Elissa laughed and rose from the bedroll. The treaties forgotten as she went to go help Alistair. Carina took a celebratory drink. The two would be lovers eventually if they spent enough time together. She blinked away a tear as she thought on how proud of them Duncan would be right now. She watched her lovers protege and his newest recruit laughing together as they both struggled to get Alistair out of the hunk of scrap he was calling armor. A giggle interrupted her thoughts and Carina realized that Leliana was sitting on her own bedroll watching her knowingly as she tuned her lute.

"Hello my beauty," Carina smiled and pulled herself up from her position, only to plop herself down again next to Leliana. "Care to join me?"

Leliana shook her head, "I have no idea what you're drinking."

"Not very trusting, are you? Finishing off a taste of Tevinter," she replied. "Do you not drink, Sister?"

"I would not mind a glass of wine," Leliana said with a shrug. "Sadly, it does not seem that we have any available."

"Yet," Carina countered. "For you my beautiful bard, I would procure the finest of Antiva's wine, or the smoothest of brandy's. Perhaps, a bottle of Carnal 8:69 Blessed?"

Leliana's face had paled, "Why would you call me a bard? Just because I sing well, you think everyone from Orlais is a bard?"

Carina tsked at her, "Ah, my dear Leliana! The way you move, the flash of your daggers, the pull of your bow, the skill in which you hit your target and assess the shadows for more danger. You tried to negotiate with me to release Loghain's men in the tavern, but, I noticed the way your hand caressed the handle of the dagger strapped to the outside of your thigh, accessible only through a near invisible slit in your robes. You were waiting for him to draw steel on me again, and if he had, he would have earned himself a slit throat for his trouble."

Leliana's cheeks pinked, "I believed I was being discreet."

"You are good, love. But, I run with questionable company and I know a bard when I see one."

Leliana nodded and then finished tuning her lute, she strummed a cord to test it, "Please keep this between us, yes?"

Carina nodded, "Aye, I'll not tell the others. I believe you when you say that you want to stop the blight. Still, this civil war shite of Loghain's will keep us from getting that done if we aren't careful."

Leliana tilted her head in acknowledgement, "Fereldan politics can be a convoluted mess. Loghain is a hero to so many, even in Orlais we tell tales of his bravery."

Carina snorted, "Sour bastard doesn't deserve it, that's for certain. No, I don't think we can attack him politically, at least not yet. Do you have any other suggestions?"

"Spies?" Leliana offered. "Perhaps some additions to Howe's staff?"

Carina grinned at Leliana, "Clever girl."

Leliana giggled, "Thank you! I will make arrangements the next time we are in Denerim. I will need coin."

Carina patted Leliana's knee fondly. "Anything you need, my darling," she said with a wink as she rose and then stretched. "I'm going to turn in."

"Goodnight, Captain," Leliana softly called to Carina's retreating back.

Carina raised her flask in salute and then slipped into her own tent. She laid down on her bed roll, stowed away her liquor and closed her eye. The sounds of the camp and Alistair's and Elissa's low voices and intermittent giggling following her into sleep. And just before she dropped off to sleep she could have sworn she heard his voice calling her from the fade.

 _I will never leave you, as long as I live, I will find you._

* * *

A/N: Thank you for sticking with this so far. I appreciate your tenacity.


	4. Chapter 4

The Blood Rose

A Fanfiction by

4AMurderofcrows

Chapter 4: Oh Captain my Captain

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

 _The thick stench of wood smoke and burning peat moss laced with the smell of decay invades her nostrils and she covers her nose when she also smells something more sinister. The smell of dead bodies. She takes in her surroundings and frowns. Ostagar is still on fire. She heads down the ramp and crosses the bridge, intent on finding her way down to the battlefield to find Duncan._

 _Half way to the otherside she is brought up short by the sight of two genlocks hoisting the body of a naked man up onto a construct. The body has a crown of shoulder length blonde hair. "Cailan!" she cries. She tries to stop them, drag them away from the Kings body but her hands pass through them and they continue working. She shakes her head disbelievingly. This cant be real._

 _She moves on after glaring hatefully at the backs of the genlocks. There is nothing that she can do for Cailan in this incorporeal form and she hates feeling helpless. She hurries down to the battle field and looks frantically for any sign of Duncan. It takes what feels like hours but finally she finds his body. He is lying face down in the dirt. She kneels beside him, "Oh, love."_

" _Rose?" a voice calls and she draws her dagger and whirls around. When she turns she finds another Duncan behind her. "Demon," she hisses. "do not mock me in my mourning!"_

" _I am not a demon," the figure of Duncan holds up his hands. "I lingered for a time, I knew you couldn't stay away."_

 _She narrowed her eyes at him and rose to her feet. Her eyes and her dagger still trained on him. "What is my least favorite liquor?"_

 _His eyebrows knitted together, "Rose, you don't have a least favorite liquor. I don't think we've found a liquor in the entirety of Thedas you haven't liked. Much to my dismay."_

 _She gasped and her dagger fell from her fingers. She staggered forward and into his arms. His arms wound themselves around her tightly. "Oh, my Rose. It's alright now," he soothed her in hushed tones. Kissing her head as she buried her face in his chest plate._

" _Fucking daft man! It's not alright. This is as far from alright as I am from being a lady. You're dead!" she sobbed accusingly and hit him in the chest with her fist._

" _I am. I'm sorry. My spirit is fading," he said sadly. "Before I go Rose, I wanted to tell you how much I love you. I am sorry that it turned out this way. You'll need to be strong for what is to come. You must do what I could not."_

 _She pulled away enough to look up at him, her fingers reaching up and stroking through his beard. "I can't do this stupid Warden thing. I can't, Duncan! This is your life, not mine."_

 _He removed his arms from around her and pushed her a little farther away from him, his hands grasping her upper arms. "You can, and you will! You must! Rose, I need you! I know that you did not want this life. But I need you need to bring the Orlesian Warden's to Fereldan. Alistair can gather our other Allies, but I fear what our depleted numbers may mean for the defeating the Archdemon. A warden must strike killing blow or this war will never end. There will be no more Fereldan to save and the darkspawn will over run the country and cut a path of destruction across Thedas until we can take the dragon down. If we can stop this now, before the blight spreads much further, we will have saved this country."_

 _Her lower lip trembled, "Duncan, please. I am not as strong as you."_

 _He looked down at her for a moment, his eyes tracing her features. "My darling, you are the strongest woman I know. You feel helpless right now, but, I am always with you. You will have to harden yourself now, my Rose. For all our sakes," he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. "You will not be joining me any time soon. I want you to find a way to move on."_

 _She pulled back and glared at him, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"  
_

" _Another thirty years is a long time to be alone my love," he reached out and stroked her cheek. "There will be another, and I want you to know that I understand. I will not fault you for it."_

 _She regarded him with confusion and then scowled, "You always were a cryptic bastard."_

 _He threw his head back and laughed. Which, despite the seriousness of the conversation, made her smile sadly, it would be the last time she heard him laugh. When he was done he pulled her to him again and then kissed her deeply. "Forgive me," he pleaded. "it's time for me to go."_

" _Do you have to?" she asked._

" _Yes," he replied sadly. "And it is time for you to make your mark upon this world. Go, fight bravely. Destroy this blight. Take care of Alistair. I love you."_

 _She reached for him as he pulled away from her, "I love you." He backed away from her and faded until he was gone. Something cold and wet touched her nose. She looked up, and another snowflake landed on her forehead. It was snowing in the south. Soon, winter would be upon them._

* * *

When she awoke she started to pack her things. She had just begun to take down her tent when the rest of the camp woke up.

"Good Morning," Leliana stretched and greeted her sleepily. "Are we leaving so early?"

"You and I are," she replied. "Get your dancing shoes on, love. We're going to Denerim."

Leliana's beautiful smile spread across her face, making her seem practically angelic until one saw the glitter in her eyes. As though a thousand evil plans were being made in the blue jeweled depths. "Fantastic! I will get my things"

She chuckled to herself. Now, all she needed to do was talk to the others.

"Look," Alistair argued as he pushed a wooden spoon around in a lumpy gray mass in their cooking pot, "I can appreciate that you want to get back to your ship, but, the Orlesian Wardens are being kept from crossing the border because of the Chevalier's. It doesn't matter whether they cross there or over the open water. They won't be allowed in."

Carina narrowed her eyes at him, "I won't be bringing the Chevalier."

He dropped the spoon into the pot with a clatter, and rounded on her angrily, "What about the treaties, Rose?"

"What about them, _Alistair_?" she mimicked and lifted her chin defiantly when he glared at her.

"Stubborn woman!" he threw up his hands and glanced over at Elissa. "Can you talk some sense into her? I'm going to go get some water."

Elissa watched him go and when he was out of sight she turned to Carina with a sympathetic expression, "He has a point you know."

"It's on his head," Carina replied with a grumble.

"Still, it's a point," Elissa quipped with a giggle.

Carina laughed and then sighed. "I still stand by my decision. The Widow's Lament will bring more Warden's. More specifically, an old friend of mine and Duncan's. Riordan will know what to do with this mess. Much more than any of the three of us. Look, this isn't exactly how I intended to live my life. I can't make the rest of you believe that I don't just want to be on my ship won't take off on you as soon as I am aboard my ship. We all know I would rather be there than here. But, I promised Duncan that I would see you all through this. I owe him that much. And hey, I can think of worse things than being a Warden and a Pirate. Fereldan isn't the only country to ever be plagued by darkspawn and as soon as Alistair stops seeing this as purely a Fereldan problem the better off he'll be."

Elissa nodded thoughtfully, "Do you even know where the Widow's Lament will berth? She's not still in Amaranthine, is she?"

Carina shook her head, "No, my first mate will have taken her to Denerim. Leliana will be coming with me. We have some business with friends of mine. Take Alistair, Sten and Morrigan to the Circle of Magi. We're going to need help from the mages or the Templars, either works. See if you can't get a competent healer. Morrigan is a beautiful terror, but her healing spells are shite."

"And one wonders why I wouldn't wish to learn to heal such complimentary company," Morrigan muttered sarcastically from where she sniffed at the morning meal Alistair left in the pot. "This is most foul! I will go and catch something more palatable. Do _not_ eat this."

It was after she sauntered off that Alistair chose to come back, "So, do we have this sorted?" he asked.

Elissa nodded and took a deep breath, steeling herself for Alistair tantrum, "I decided that Carina will go to Orlais to retrieve a very important Warden at the border, Riordan. Do you know him?"

Alistair tilted his head in thought, "Riordan...Rior- oh! Yes, he was at my joining, he's the Senior Warden of Jada I think, or was it Montisimmard…?"

"The point is that he's a Senior Warden. Since we're all fairly new at this we need someone with that experience," Elissa replied. "Carina seems to think that he'll help us recruit more Wardens. I happen to agree. None of us knows how to prepare the ritual. Are you with us Alistair?"

"Of course", Alistair replied. He gazed at Elissa like she had the answers to all of the world's problems, which, had Carina eying the young Cousland with a newfound respect. The girl certainly had the lad wrapped around her finger.

"Lovely," Carina smirked at the girl. "I think it's time for me to get my things together. Daylight is precious."

"Do not be seen," Elissa warned.

Carina bowed mockingly with a flourish of her hand, "I wouldn't dream of it, my Lady Cousland."

Elissa rolled her eyes, "While you're there see if you can break into the Warden compound. Alistair says there's an armory inside and documents. We wouldn't want Loghain getting his slimy hands those."

"Aye, that we do not," Carina agreed. "Take care of Alistair," she added. At Elissa's nod she left her side to retrieve Leliana.

As she approached the bard looked up at her, shading her eyes until Carina stepped into the path of the sunlight. "Your hair shines like flame with the sun behind it, it's quite pretty."

Carina snorted, "It's not the only fire I'm capable of, love."

Leliana giggled and blushed making Carina smile wider. "This shall be an interesting trip, no?"

"Oh, quite interesting indeed my song bird," Carina agreed.

Carina hugged Elissa goodbye and stepped forward to clasp hands with Alistair. To her surprise her hand was yanked forward and the rest of her with it into a bone crushing bear hug. "You aren't getting away from me that easily, woman!" Alistair laughed. "We're family after all!"

She chuckled and wrapped her arms around him when he was done crushing her. When she pulled away he was looking down at her in a brotherly manner. She reached up and bussed his cheek. "You will behave my young man, or I'll have to take you over my knee!"

He blushed violently but laughed anyway, "Promises, promises."

With a nod from Sten and a wink at Morrigan she and Leliana were off to Denerim.

* * *

The shadow watched the camp from his vantage point in the shadows. To say that he was surprised would have put it mildly. Carina Belladona Ranaud, otherwise known as the Blood Rose, Captain of the Widow's Lament. Famed friend of Isabella, Queen of the Eastern Seas. He chuckled. How the Piratess's loved their long titles. The handsome rogue grinned mischeviously at the thought of the last time the three of them were together. There was something about being with beautiful commanding women that really made one feel alive. He stroked his chin and smiled, he would have to see how this played out. It had been many years since he had seen her. The last time they'd been together, Isabella lost a husband, and he'd thought he'd never see either one of them again. Fate was a tricky whore. Interesting things were certainly on the horizon, of that he had no doubt.

He'd heard the rumor that Carina had fallen for a Warden a few years ago, but, never in his wildest fantasies had he ever imagined she would join them. And if the reports were true, the man she had fallen for was slain at Ostagar. Loghain did not know that she was a Warden, surely? If he had, he would have ordered her assassinated specifically. None of this 'kill all the remaining Wardens in Fereldan' business, no. No Carina would have warranted something special. She would have been made an example of to all who dared interfere with Loghains and Howe's plans for this backwards country.

Zevran Aranai faded into the shadows, retreating to plan, and wait.

* * *

Carina and Leliana traveled east along the Drakon river towards South Reach on their way to Denerim. It seemed the best course of action to stay off the main roads and follow the river. Leliana was a pleasant enough traveling companion. The nights were the hardest for her. She ached to feel Duncan's arms around her and went to bed cold and alone.

Into the second night on their travels, Leliana entered her tent quietly. "Rose?" she questioned softly.

Carina wiped her tears away before sitting up to regard the young woman with trepidation, "Is there a problem, poppet?"

"Not with me," Leliana shook her head. "I heard you from my tent. I heard you crying."

Carina frowned and then lay back down, her red curls fanning out around her. "Don't trouble yourself. Go back to sleep. I'm fine."

The young bard was quiet for a moment and Carina thought she'd leave. However, when the tent flap closed Leliana was still on the inside of the tent. She moved slowly towards Carina, unfolding herself as she went until she was lying beside her. She moved a curl off of Carina's brow and lay her head down next to hers, facing her. "You are going to make yourself ill, you barely ate anything tonight."

Carina rolled onto her side to face the bard so that she could see her. "I would tease you for watching me so raptly but a bards habits are hard to break aren't they?"

Leliana smiled back at her sweetly, "My sweet Captain, you I would watch for hours. You're endlessly captivating."

Carina laughed. Oh, this girl was playing with fire, "Is that so?"

Leliana hummed and the reached out, tracing a tear track down Carina's cheek with a light touch. "You do not need to hide your tears. It is alright to cry over the loss of someone you loved."

Carina captured Leliana's hand in hers and brushed her lips over the porcelain skin of her wrist. As Leliana's breath hitched Carina inhaled her perfume, it was Orlesian but held a hint of spice, a naughtier scent than the frilly florals that most Orlesian noble women wore. Leliana's scent was more seductive, expecially when mixed with the scent of her ivory skin and the wide innocent blue of her eyes. She glanced up into the bards face to find the normally pale blue eyes darkened with desire. She bit back a smile and instead would her arm around Leliana's waist pulling her fforward so that the other red head was flush against her. Leliana gasped and her sweet breath played over Carina's lips. "I'd be careful about stealing into the tents of pirates after this," she said huskily. "The game could never prepare you for what I would do to you," without waiting for a response she took Leliana's full lips with her own in a firm but slow dance. The woman in her arms stiffened as though she were about to push away but then melted against her. Once Carina had fully plundered her mouth she pulled back and released Leliana.

Leliana reached up and touched her lips, as if not believing what just happened. She scrambled away from Carina as though she were on fire. "I'm sorry," was all she said before leaving the tent abruptly with a bright blush on her face.

Carina watched her go in amusement and a touch of sadness. She'd known she'd been too bold and pushed the girl. Still, it stopped the chit from prying. Maker she needed a drink. She rummaged through her things for her flask and then exited her tent. She made her way through the darkness and the brush towards the river.

She stopped beside the water and looked up into the sky, the stars winked and sparkled in the sky agains the black of the night. She took a drink and had just swallowed when she as grabbed from behind and a dagger pressed to her throat. She found herself pressed against a hard body and calloused fingers clamped over her mouth. Her captor pressed his lips against the shell of her ear and purred in a smooth masculine voice, "Ciao, Dolcezza."

* * *

"Are you sure that you want to take that _thing_ with us?" Alistair questioned Elissa.

"Think of it like a portable battering ram," Elissa said with a wink.

Alistair regarded her with apprehension but seeing that she wasn't about to be disuaded sighed heavily, "Good point. Better it than me, anyhow."

"Perfect, now we have two companions with heads full of rocks," Morrigan snarked.

"Oh, lovely. Another Mage. I see it has terrible tastes in traveling companions," the Golem intoned in boredom.

Morrigan rolled her eyes, "Warden, we have the golem. I suggest we move on."

"You're right, Morrigan. No sense in tarrying any further. Shale? I would be pleased if you would accompany us," Elissa offered.

"I will go with it, it seems to have more interesting things to do than stay here in this tedious village. I shall very much like to see more of the world. And kill some evil birds," Shale replied conversationally.

"Right, because that's not creepy at all," Alistair muttered.

Elissa smiled, "Perfect!"

They left Honnleath with Shale and made their way to the Circle Tower. Once there they realized that not everything was as it seemed. The Knight Commander requested the right of Annulment to nuetralize the circle.

Alistair pulled Elissa aside. "Liss, this is not good. The Knight Commander would not do such a thing unless the entire Circle was lost."

She worried her bottom lip in thought and Alistair fought the urge to smooth his thumb over it. This was no time to be thinkin about her lips, for Maker's sake!

"True, although he won't help until we make sure that the tower is safe. What about the children Alistair? Surely some may still live?" she looked pleadingly into his eyes.

Alistair sighed, "Alright, look. Let's go in and see if we can save anyone. At the very least we can see if First Enchanter Irving is still alive."

She bestowed a brilliant smile on him and he could not regret his agreement. Not when she looked at him as though he'd handed her the moon. She stepped forward and stretched up on her toes. Bracing herself with a hand on his chest she kissed his cheek gently. "Thank you, Alistair."

He could feel his face grow hot and his ears hotter, "N-no p-problem!"

She grinned at him and then went to tell Gregoire that they would search the Tower for Irving. Alistair ran his fingers over the place where she'd kissed him and blushed even more. Unnamed emotions rushed through him. Somehow he wished that Rose was there so that he could ask her what it meant. Suddenly, he missed her very much.

* * *

Carina froze momentarily in her captors grasp until he spoke. His voice was so familiar. A honeyed smooth baritone that reminded her of hot Antivan Summer nights. Nights she'd spent entangled in limbs and listening to the sounds of the sea through the balcony window of the apartment she'd shared briefly with Isabella and… "Zev?"

She was released and her captor flicked the dagger he'd held to her throat into the ground at their feet. Then suddenly she found her back against a tree and a pair of smooth lips were sensuously dancing with hers. One strong hand buried itself in her hair and the other held her in place by her hip, squeezing her possessively. When he ended the kiss he laid his forehead against hers, "Hai un sapore buono come me lo ricordavo."

She frowned up at him, he was average height for an elf but she had always been on the short side. She swatted his chest, "You scared the piss out of me!"

He smirked and pressed against her, "Are you certain it is fear that makes your heart race, mia bella? Is it truly that I frightened you or something else? Did you want to be taken captive, or simply just taken? Perhaps you wish me to take you, it would not be the first time I fucked you against a tree, mmm?"

She gasped as he rolled his hips, his arousal grinding sensuously against her sex in a circular motion. She gasped and shuddered in his arms. When he chuckled at her reaction she growled, "Maker, you're still an arsehole!" She shoved him away from her.

He released her as he stumbled a step backwards. He laughed at the irritated expression on her face as he watched her bend down to retrieve her flask. He was still chuckling when he retrieved his dagger and sheathed it. "And you my dear are still as beautiful and as fiery as the last time I saw you. We will get reacquainted, of this I have no doubt."

She shivered and then frowned. "If you're extremely lucky. What the hell are you doing here?"

He grabbed her hand and held it and led her back towards her and Leliana's camp, "That is a long story, one which I will tell you all of after you share with me how you ended up with the Grey Wardens."

She paused and he turned to her, taking her other hand in his. She sighed. "I was stupid and fell in love. Now...Zev, it's all fucked up. The man I loved he's-," her breath hitched and then a tear fell down her cheek.

She wasn't prepared to talk about this with anyone. However, something about Zevran had always made her feel as though her soul were on display. He always seemed to know what she needed, what she was hiding. Years ago, before Duncan, when she was young, before she was a pirate. She met Zevran and Isabella in Antiva. They taught her about the pleasures to be had in this world. They became intimate in ways that she'd only since shared with Duncan. Now here Zevran stood, perhaps the only person besides Isabella who knew what lie beneath her carefully constructed persona.

He pulled her into his arms, "Tch, my fierce Belladona. No, no. This will not do. You cannot go on this way. Release it, or it will eat you alive. Cry, cara. There is no shame in this."

She buried her head into his shoulder and sobbed, grabbing his jerkin in her hands. "Why the fuck does this hurt so much! Why the fuck didn't he listen to me?! Why the fuck can't I just stop crying?"

He kissed her hair and tightened his arms around her, "Si si. Questo è tutto. Rilascia il dolore. Siamo entrambi degli stupidi, mia dolce Rose. Ti farò dimenticare di lui. Troverò la mia redenzione tra le tue braccia."

They stayed that way for what felt like an hour but was likely only a few minutes. Then she pulled back from him and he handed her a handkercheif. "Thank you, Zev."

He stroked her cheek, "For you, anything. You know this. Now, tell Zevran what happened."

She relayed the story of how she fell in love with Duncan. How it had been years that they had been together but not together. Waiting for him to be done with the Warden's forever. Until one day she happened upon him in a tavern, with the last surviving Cousland. She told him how she intruded on the joining and ended up taking part in the ritual. How she had to leave him on the field of battle. How she felt as though she was responsible for his death, because she should have fought harder to stop him from staying. But mostly, how much she was angry with him. He promised her they would be together after this, but, they were never going to be together. He was always dying. Now, now she was the one dying. She had thirty more years according to Alistair. Thirty more years and the taint would devour her mind and her body.

"He let you take this joining, even knowing it would kill you? Bastardo! He is lucky he is already dead. Why didn't you walk away, tesoro?" Zevran asked angrily taking her by the arms and shaking her a bit.

She laughed bitterly against him, "Because I could not see living without him, even though I never really had him in the first place? Because I am the biggest damn fool in all of Thedas?"

He pulled her away from him and smoothed her hair away from her face and sighed.

"Love makes fools of us all, Bella. You are not the only foolish one, I fear. Rinna and I grew close and then...well, I was tricked into believing she betrayed Taliesen and I. She's dead. I killed her. If there was ever a fool..."

"Oh, Zevran," she reached up and stroked the tattoo on his cheek. He sunk to his knees before her and pressed his cheek to her stomach.

"Forgive me. I came to kill you and all remaining Grey Warden's, Belladona," he pulled back and looked up into her eyes. "I came to die. I wanted to die. To pit myself against Grey Wardens, a deathwish. Now that I am here and I find that it is you. It is like fate is telling me that I have a purpose. Let me serve you. Stand with me against the Crows and I will help you defeat the blight and stay by your side until you go to the deep roads."

Her mouth fell open in shock, "Zev, you should have no Master but yourself."

He shook his head then looked up at her pleadingly, "I cannot go back to the Crows. Not when I see her everytime I take a job. Let me do something noble for once my life, Bella. Let me do this. You need me. I will take care of you. You will see."

Carina looked down at Zevran and sees flashes of memory. She sees herself running over rooftops in the moonlight laughing like a madwoman, Zevran and Isabella at her heels. The shouts of palace guards as alarms are raised. Isabella naked on silken sheets dripping in stolen imperial jewels and smiling. Carina and Zevran touching and kissing, then worshipping the dusky pirate together and indulging in every sin they knew and discovering some they had not. Zevran staring at them from the doorway, a saddened expression on his face as he left their embrace to meet the whip of his Master for being late for a job, again. Zevran returning to them, bruised and whiped nearly to shreds after he'd performed the job still bleeding from the lash. Her cursing and vows to kill Zevran's Master for hurting him so, and Zevran's desperate grateful kisses because she cared enough to threaten it. He made her promise to never go near the Crows. He did not want her to be hunted. He did not want to be the one to hunt her.

That night he made love to her and Isabella with such aching tenderness that she wept at the beauty of it. Then, he disappeared after assasinating Isabella's absusive husband. His last gift to them.

As she looked down at him, she saw the man who had never known tenderness or love. Only danger, death, sex, abuse and the leash of a Master. In many ways he was asking her to let him choose a better way. To be better. He was giving her his life to hold, to take care of. She felt...something. Some unnamed emotion that flayed her heart open.

"If you stay, then you stay. No more running," she replied. "Pirates have a code, Zevran. You'll follow it if you follow me. You will sign the articles once we board the Widow. After that you are a part of my crew. Are you still with me?"

He stood and tilted her face to his with a gentle finger under her chin his expression as deadly serious as that night he made her vow to stay away from the Crows, "To the end, Dolcezza."

* * *

A/N- I wanted to explain a little about how I am portraying Zevran. This AU explores Zevran as a man who has history with our Pirate Warden. He is still hurt from losing Rinna but so is Carina hurt from losing Duncan. In a lot of ways, they are a lot alike. They use sex as a way to distance people, as a way to get what they want, as a way to dull the pain. I plan on further exploring both their characters and their pasts as the story progresses.

 _1\. "Hai un sapore buono come me lo ricordavo": You taste as good as I remembered_

 _2\. "Si si. Questo è tutto. Rilascia il dolore. Siamo entrambi degli stupidi, mia dolce Rose. Ti farò dimenticare di lui. Troverò la mia redenzione tra le tue braccia.": Yes, yes. That's it. Release the pain. We are both fools my sweet Rose. I will make you forget him. I will find my redemption in your arms._


	5. Chapter 5

The Blood Rose

A Fan-fiction by 4AMurderofCrows

Chapter 4: Void

Warning: NSFW in this chapter

* * *

Zevran did not come back to camp with her, instead, he left her to gather his things from his own camp nearby. They agreed to meet back at the spot he had found her in. She made her way back to camp to find Leliana waiting by the fire for her.

"Where did you go?" Leliana asked her suspiciously.

Carina would have flushed guiltily if she'd been any other woman. She had played with the girl and now Leliana was glaring at her like a jealous wife. Rose chuckled. "I found... a friend. He will be joining us tomorrow."

Leliana's eyes narrowed as her suspicion grew, "I see."

"What's this songbird? Are you jealous?" she asked teasingly.

Leliana blushed and looked away from her. "Of course not!"

Carina smirked before kneeling before the bard. She grasped the young woman's chin between her thumb and forefinger turning the heart-shaped face so that blue eyes met green. "For an Orlesian bard, you can't lie worth a shit," she smirked.

Leliana scowled and batted Carina's hands away from her, "I wish you would not tease me so. I hear you crying at night. I know that you are hurting over the loss of your Duncan. I wish to offer you comfort, but, it is difficult when you do this. I assure you the words of the Maker can be of great comfort to you."

"Love, not everyone finds comfort in the word of the Maker or even words at all. I am dying fast and I want to live faster. I want to feel the wind in my hair and the spray of the sea on my face. I want a pretty girl in my lap and a handsome man to take me until I can't feel anything but thoroughly debauched. I want to spit in the face of fate and make life bend to my will. I'd feel comforted by a good drink and a good fuck," she purred out the last word making it sound as dirty as she could.

The blush on her cheeks spread over Leliana's face and down to the tops of her breasts giving her a faint glow in the firelight. "I am sorry, I cannot."

Carina tilted her head to the side and then shrugged, "Suit yourself, love." She got to her feet and stretched. "I am going to turn in. Sweet dreams, Leliana."

Leliana nodded and picked up her lute, seemingly intent on tuning it.

Carina entered her tent and kicked off her boots, listening to the off-key sounds of Leliana trying to tune her instrument she smiled and shook her head. There was a story there. She just knew it. Somehow, Carina thought if she pushed a little harder she might have been lying next to her now. Still, Rose had long ago lost her taste for chasing women. If they acted disinterested Carina had more than enough to keep her occupied. Besides, Isabella was likely docked in Denerim if she truly needed to scratch that itch. Leliana had a past, a past that stopped her from enjoying her present.

The next day Zevran met up with them just as they finished packing their gear. He sauntered carelessly into their camp and grinned when Leliana drew her bow on him.

"Zev, this is Leliana," Carina introduced him to the Orlesian.

"Leliana, this is Zevran. He's an Antivan, which means he's grabby," she smirked at him.

"Tch, Belladonna you are not being fair," he chided with a mock pout.

She poked her tongue out at him.

He laughed and smiled when Leliana finally lowered her bow. Then crossed the now empty campsite to where Leliana stood, he took her hand and kissed it. "Ciao, mia dolce tentatrice rossa."

Leliana regarded him coolly. "Your friend is an Antivan Crow," she commented with distaste as she took her hand back from him and wiped it casually off on her chantry robe.

Zevran released her hand and smirked, "Oh, I like her. Orlesian," he licked his lips. "Her hand cream has the faint taste of almond and...ah...I see. A bard."

Leliana shifted uncomfortably and then folded her arms trying and failing to look unimpressed. Carina chuckled. "That's amazing Zevran, how did you know?"

"A Bard mixes their lotions with a few antidotes to counteract some of the more common contact poisons. Our dearest Leliana must have been quite in demand, her hand-cream has an antidote for one of the lesser known and less used poisons. Which means, that she was widely sought. I know of only one bard purported to be prolific enough and that fits the description of your companion, Carina. You travel with the famed Lady Nightingale of the Orlesian court herself."

Leliana's face was an expressionless mask. "Impressive."

He smirked again, "Thank you, my dear. Not to worry. Marjolaine has her hands full if our reports are anything to go by. She's not worried about finding you. For the moment."

" _That_ sounds like a scandalous story," Carina winked at Leliana who shot her an angry and hurt look.

"One _you_ will never hear," Leliana hissed and stomped out of the clearing.

Carina exchanged a look with Zevran, both shrugging at each other in unison. "She is fiery, no?" he asked her with a grin.

Carina chuckled, "You have no idea."

* * *

Alistair watched as Elissa sat up from her bedroll and looked around wildly, hand on her sword hilt. "You alright?" he asked sympathetically.

She jumped at the sound of his voice and realized finally that she was awake and had been dreaming. She was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling, sweat dotting her brow. She took her hand off her sword and drew her knees up to her chest hugging them with shaking arms. "No."

He got up from his spot by the fire and made his way over to her, he sat down next to her and put his arm around her. "Me either."

She shuddered and leaned against him, her cheek pressed to his chest. Through his shirt, he could feel warm tears against his skin. "Hey, now. Don't cry," he said and placed the other arm around her. This must not have been the right thing to say because she started sobbing softly. _Idiot._ He heard Rose chide him in his head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"No," she said softly. "Just, hold me. Talk to me about something, anything...just don't leave me alone."

"O-oh, ok. Hmm, what to talk about? How about...uh..cheese? Have I told you that I have an unholy love of cheese?" he asked.

She snickered, "Yes, many times. Normally when we pass a village merchant selling said cheese as you give me what you think of as your soulful puppy dog eyes."

He laughed, "What can I say? One of these days you'll fall for it."

She shook her head pulled away from him but only far enough to look up into his eyes, "Tell me about your childhood."

It was on his lips to deflect the request with the normal 'it was boring' response he normally gave but the look on her face said that right now what she needed were his honesty and his trust. She needed to have her vulnerability met in kind. He felt the wall he built threaten to fall and for once he let a brick come loose. Maybe it was time? Maker knows what will befall them on the morrow. Better that he die with someone having known him, truly known him. Better than dying alone.

"I'm a bastard," he said finally. "Before you make any smart comments, I mean the fatherless kind."

She looked at him in confusion and sadness, "Eamon's?"

He laughed at that. "No," he said. He managed to keep much of the old bitterness out of the tone of his voice for her sake. This was for her after all, no need to make her more upset. Though when he told her, she might be angry. Anger is better than sadness though. The anger she can use. Sadness just weighs you down and keeps you from living.

"If I were Eamon's bastard, it might have made more sense that I was sent to the Chantry. But, I'm not. I am the bastard son of Maric," he admitted.

She sat straight up almost bashing her forehead into his chin. " _King_ Maric?"

He eyed her sudden animation, noting that her previous melancholy and fear were forgotten. He felt satisfied that he managed to pull her out of her mood but at the same time wished that he could run away from the glint in her eye. "Yes."

She seemed to sense that he was retreating into himself so she lifted a brow at him and smiled, "So, you're not just a bastard, but, a royal bastard?"

He couldn't help the startled laugh, "Cute, I'll have to use that one."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, taking his hand in hers.

He looked down at her small fingers entwining with his and tried to search for an answer. Truth be told, he didn't really have one that didn't sound silly. "Well, honestly...I wanted you to like me for me. You know? Just, Alistair. Not the bastard cast-off, not good enough to be a prince because Rowan wasn't my mother."

He couldn't help but look sulkily down at the ground. When the cool fingers of her other hand found his cheek he looked up to find her blue eyes looking at him without pity but with something else that made his heart hammer in his chest.

"Of course I like you," she said softly.

"Y-you do?" he asked warily.

She gave a girlish giggle which sent a twisting feeling through him. "Yes."

"Well, good," he said happily. There were so many other things he wanted to say but he didn't know how to put them into words.

She smiled and shook her head and then yawned. "It's almost time for Sten's watch."

He nodded, "You should get back to sleep." He made to rise and was startled when she pulled him back down onto the bedroll.

"Stay with me, hold me while I sleep?" she asked plaintively. Her blue eyes pleaded with him not to leave her alone.

He blushed violently but nodded. "As my Lady wishes."

She giggled again and settled against him when he laid down, her head on his chest. He tucked her into his side and relished the feel of her against him. "This is...really nice."

She hummed in agreement and he couldn't help the grin that spread over his face. He could get used to this. The rest of his life with her at his side, sleeping next to him every night? He could think of nothing he wanted more. "Elissa?" he asked.

"Mm?" she murmured sleepily.

"I think I'm falling in love with you," he said. Silence and then a light snore answered his declaration and he felt the breath he'd been holding exit his mouth in a shaky exhale. He chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, love."

She responded with another sleepy murmur and he let a grin spread over his face again. "Just wait until Rose gets back," he said. "She'll take the piss out of me for this one just you watch."

* * *

When Carina, Zevran, and Leliana reached Denerim they found the city full of frightened refugees. Carina had expected to be watched like a hawk when she entered the city limits, but, found that eyes followed Zevran more than her. Zevran attributed it to the fact that he was clearly a desirable man and that, of course, all eyes were on him. Though even he seemed to not be entirely sure.

With some coin, they managed to find out that the alienage was cordoned off due to a plague of some sort that affected only elves, which, accounted for the suspicious glares that her Antivan was receiving. She also managed to find out where Isabella was hiding.

"The Pearl, of course, she is," she smiled fondly to herself.

"You really expected anything less from our lusty pirate queen?" Zevran asked with a chuckle.

"No, but the Pearl?" she asked with a wrinkle of her nose. "She could be hunting in the Gnawed Noble for finer jewels and finer tits, but, she goes to that stink hole?"

"Tch, dolcezza, be kind! Isabella has been without your talents for many years after all," he chided.

She rolled her eye at him, "Well, maybe Sanga will still be there. She was always a love."

When they reached the Pearl they found that indeed Sanga was still there, "As I live and breathe!" she exclaimed as Carina walked through the door.

"There you are my lovely!" Carina said with a smile and wrapped her arms around the proprietress of the Pearl. "Why are you still in this piece of shit brothel when you could be sailing the high seas with the sexiest Pirate you know?"

"Because I asked her and she said no," a familiar voice said before Sanga could answer.

"Isabella?" she looked around to find the famed Queen of the Eastern Seas sitting with her boots up on a table.

"Hello Rose," she said and tilted her head towards the empty chairs at her table. "Been awhile."

They sat themselves down at her table and Isabella sent the serving girl off to bring them back a round of drinks with a playful slap to her bottom. "You've been a busy girl, I hear. Brought Zev with you too," she remarked with a sly grin. "The last I saw you, you were running away after slaying my husband," she said to him.

Zevran chuckled, "You're welcome."

Isabella burst out laughing, "Aye, the Siren always did like me better than it did him. So," she said as she leaned back in her chair, lighting a cigarillo, "what have you come to ask me to do?"

"Sail with me," Carina said. "Help me bring the Wardens from Orlais to stop the blight."

"Oh Sweet thing," Isabella sighed. "You know I don't do anything for free."

Carina grinned, "Oh, I know."

"My ship or yours?" Isabella asked.

"Yours, once Crowley sees me he won't let me off the Widow ever again!" she chuckled.

Isabella snorted, "Quite the nurse-maid your first mate. Very well," she purred. "See you on the Siren, in about an hour. You can come too Zevran if you like."

He took Isabella's hand in his and kissed it, "I would not miss it for the world, Bella."

Isabella left after finishing her drink. Carina found that Leliana was sitting there with a disgruntled look on her face. "You don't need to come with us, Songbird. In fact, if you like you can see if you can hire us some eyes for the castle."

Leliana regarded her with an inscrutable expression, "If that is what you think is best. Where shall I find you afterward? On your ship or hers?"

Carina felt irritated with the girl, "My ship if you please. I'll not have you fall into the hands of Isabella's scallywags. We must keep your purity intact, after all. No telling what manner of untoward behavior you might suffer in pirate hands, yes? Tell my First mate, that you are a friend of The Rose and he'll let you on board quick enough."

Leliana nodded stiffly and left Carina and Zevran. Zevran watched her go and whistled when she was out of earshot, "Jealous that one, no?"

"Hardly! She's trying to save my wretched soul," she laughed and then downed her drink. "I tried to get that skirt up, but it was so cold up there I had to put it down again."

Zevran chuckled, "Well, Amante, you do not have to worry about that with me."

She arched a brow at him, "I'd say not, your skirt is always up."

He threw his head back and laughed before taking her hand and pulling her to her feet and into his arms, "Ah, how I've missed you." He threaded his fingers into her hair and brushed his lips over hers.

She closed her eyes and let him kiss her, she felt tears prick her eyes and pulled him closer needing the contact. The pain of losing Duncan and his words from her dream choked her with loneliness. "I need you," she said when she broke away from his lips.

She looked up into his eyes and found a pain that mirrored her own. He had lost his Rinna and she had lost her Duncan. "Sanga!" she called.

"Aye love?" Sanga answered.

"Can we rent a room?" she asked, her brilliant green eye still locked with Zevran's honey brown ones.

She heard Sanga laugh softly. "For you two, on the house," she tossed the key towards them and Zevran caught it deftly in his hand without taking his eyes off Rose before him.

"La mia Rosa," he purred and stroked her cheek.

"Il mio dolce assassino," she purred back.

He chuckled, "Such things you say."

They found the room near the back of the brothel, it was one of Sanga's best, likely only used when nobility visited. It was clean and the bed was full of jewel-colored pillows and silky bed linens. The fire was lit and crackling merrily. There was no window, but, they needed no window. Zevran turned the key in the lock and turned to see Carina standing by the fire, her arms wrapped around herself.

He came up behind her and encircled her in his arms, he set his chin lightly on her shoulder, "Tell me about your Warden, dolcezza."

She shook her head and he turned her around to face him. "Let there be no secrets between us, yes? We have known each other too long for pretense, Carina. You knew me when I was little more than a boy playing an assassin. Too much has passed between us to hide or lie now."

She nodded and reached out to help him with the leather straps of his armor. "Duncan and I met in Jader."

* * *

Ten years earlier….

Green eyes glinted with amusement over a hand of wicked grace. "You should quit while you're ahead, my friend."

"Not until I figure out how you're cheating," the Rivaini man replied calmly as he nonchalantly stroked his beard.

"You're almost out of things to wager, are you not?" she took another card and smile at him toothily. "I believe this hand is mine," she laid her cards out and leaned back in her chair, the amusement in her eyes now a gleam of satisfaction.

He laid out all of his cards and sat back with a smile and folded his arms. He had the same hand as she did only one of the cards clearly had a bent corner. It was one of the cards from her sleeve. He'd managed to somehow filch the card from her.

She took a drink of her ale and then pointed at him, "You're a dangerous man."

He chuckled. "Perhaps, I suppose my enemies might say that. My friends have nothing to fear."

"So, am I to be an enemy? Or...a friend?" she leaned forward in her chair, well aware that her impressive cleavage would be all the more visible from the bodice of her outfit.

He poured more ale into her mug from the pitcher. "I suppose that would be up to you…?" he trailed off as though to ask her name.

"Rose," she replied. Although that was not her real name, she had been dubbed the bloody rose after cutting a swath of destruction through her enemies during a botched raid on a rival Pirate Clan.

"Rose," he said, testing the name on his tongue. "I am Duncan."

She held out her hand for him to shake and he took it lightly in his own, turning it to place a gentle kiss on her knuckles, his beard tickling her hand. She arched a brow. "Dangerous," she chuckled.

He laughed. "I am not the only one. I hear that the Widow's Lament docked this morning and that its new Captain is not only a beauty with hair that's been stained red with the blood of her enemies but that she has killed a thousand men."

She snorted. "Don't listen to Antivan fish-wives, love. I never wash my hair in blood, it gets sticky."

He laughed. "Captain Blood-Rose. I am pleased to meet you."

"As I am pleased to meet you, Warden-Commander Duncan of the Grey," she raised her mug to him.

He only looked startled momentarily, "How did you know?"

She inclined her head towards the opposite side of the room where two men sat in a corner nursing their drinks and trying to cover their Warden armor with cloaks. "Your friends don't exactly know how to blend in or how not to glare at the back of your head when you're having fun."

He turned around to find his newer wardens had followed him to the bar and were glaring at the bar patrons with disapproval. One of them realized that Duncan had spotted him and turned a bright red while the other one lifted a hand and gave him an awkward wave. Duncan glared at them pointedly and then turned around to once again face the woman he'd been so caught up in for the past hour.

"Do you have to go?" she asked, not intending to sound disappointed but uncaring that she did.

He stroked his beard in thought, "I suppose since our game was not entirely fair that you could give me the opportunity to win back my money."

She gave him wicked smile, "Or you could go give those boys the night off and we could go up to my room so you can show me how you managed to get that card out of my sleeve."

He must have looked shocked because she laughed, "Don't look so shocked, love. You're a sexy man and I've been trying to figure out whether or not I want to test that famed Warden stamina all night. The way you lifted that card says you're good with your hands."

His deep brown eyes darkened even further and she felt a shiver race up her spine when he gave her a heated look. "Aye, lass."

Although his Warden compatriots were less than pleased with leaving their Commander alone with what they felt was a dangerous criminal element, they couldn't begrudge a man time alone with a beautiful woman.

Carina led him to her room above the tavern. Once inside they wasted no time getting acquainted. He was battle-hardened and his body marked with the evidence of his Warden life. She lay beside him naked in the afterglow of some of the best sex she ever had and traced the lines of battle on his tanned skin. "Sail away with me," she proposed.

He rolled onto his side, "I can't."

She lifted a brow, "Can't or won't?"

He sat up abruptly, "Both. I cannot leave."

She nodded sadly and got up to dress, "Shame, you're a bloody good shag."

He chuckled. "I am here a few times a year, perhaps we will see each other again?"

She shrugged, "Perhaps."

Just then the door to their room burst open and men with swords flooded into the room. Duncan tried to grab his daggers but was knocked unconscious. "No!" Rose shouted. "Let him be!"

A dwarven man with black wiry hair and beady eyes sauntered into the room, "Aye, don't kill the Warden, we don't need trouble with his ilk. We just have business with Rosie, here. Don't we Rosie?"

Carina glared at the greasy pustule from her place on the bed, "Karis."

He grinned at her, his rotting teeth making her shudder, "Hi Princess. Thought you could drink and fuck your way through my town without me finding out where you were, hmm?"

"I rather hoped that you would, only I hoped it was about two taverns back, honestly, I gave up on you," she sneered.

He laughed and then signaled his men to get her up off the bed. "Where is my emerald?"

"On a whore's neck in Orlais," she said with a cheeky grin. "I had a lot of fun with that emerald."

He didn't look like he thought it was funny, "Not the safest answer, sweetheart. Hold her head," he said.

The brute on her left grabbed a fist full of her hair as Karis approached her, dagger drawn. Karis placed the dagger under her eye, "Now, tell me. Where is my Emerald?"

"I don't have it anymore," she replied again. "Even if I did why would I give it to you, you ugly little nug humping arse? If I gave it to you, you'd just kill me anyway. Go ahead. Kill me," she said boldly.

He grinned, "Oh sweetheart, I'm not going to kill you. See, I like looking at you too much," he leered. "But, I can't let you go without teaching you a valuable lesson about property, now, can I? And since, I can't take any of your property because, beyond a Pirate ship I've no use for, you've nothing I want. Except, well maybe one thing. You see you took my emerald. I was really fond of how it was so sparkly and green. Rather like, oh, I don't know. You're eye. I always did love your eyes, Rosie. So I think I should take one to make up for what you stole. What do you say, eh?"

She spat in his face. He wiped it off angrily and then glared at his men for snickering. "Don't push your luck, Rosie, my love. I could take both of those pretty eyes of yours."

Duncan awoke to the sound of a woman sobbing. His head felt as though a golem was stomping on it. "Rose?" he called. When he pulled himself up off the floor he found Rose on the floor, still naked and clutching her face, blood was seeping out from her fingers. "Rose!" he said and gathered her to him.

"He took my eye!" she said with pain and rage. "The little fuck stole my eye!"

Duncan pulled the blanket from the bed and wrapped it around her, "Stay here," he ordered. He dressed hurriedly and left. He was gone for a few minutes before returned with a warden, it turned out they hadn't gone as far as she thought. The warden turned out to be a mage. He managed to heal the damage but no amount of magic could regrow an eye.

"I'm sorry," he said to her. "There will be scarring."

She raised her hand to where new flesh was knitted over the spot where her eye should have been. "Thank you."

She dressed, not minding that both men were still in the room, both looking a bit awkward at her sudden nudity and the sudden change in her demeanor. "Rose, where are you going?" Duncan asked. "You just suffered through something horrible, you should go back to your ship."

She nodded. "I am going back to my ship, to get more men."

Duncan shook his head, "Are you certain that's a good idea?" He winced when she turned her once good eye on him with an icy glare.

"Don't get in my way," she said.

* * *

The Antivan elf reached up and untied the strap of her eye patch. The white scar over her eye socket was bright in contrast to the sun-kissed tan of her skin. It was in the shape of a star with one point coming down to her cheek. He leaned down and kissed it with gentle reverence. "Sei la perfezione."

She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. "I killed Karis."

He nodded. "Good."

"Duncan came with me. We stormed that little shits compound together. We killed so many. When it was all over he stayed with me for a few weeks. I thought, after all that, that it was inevitable that we would just end up together. A man doesn't brave hell over a woman's lost eye for nothing, right? What a fool I was. He loved me, aye. But, it wasn't enough. He loved the Wardens more. What a fool I was," she said remorsefully.

"No il mio Amore, you are no fool. You are a fire that needs to be fed. You need a man that can feed it. He may have tried, but he had more than one hearth to tend, no? You could never be his priority. A warden oath is impossible to break, or so I hear. You need a man that will make you his only priority," he said while stroking her cheek tenderly.

"Once this is over, Zev I -," she started to ask him what he would do but he put a finger to her lips.

"A vow I have sworn to you," he said. "Zevran never breaks a vow. You'll need me, dolcezza. Not just for this blight business. You need me to tend your fire."

Her eye widened with shock. "Zevran…?"

He shook his head, "Not now. We have time enough to talk about the future. For now, I wish to reacquaint myself with your lovely body. Before I have to share you with Isabella."

She laughed. "You don't _have_ to share me with Isabella."

He chuckled warmly and she let the smoothness of his voice flow over her like warm Antivan Brandy. "Tesoro, you know I cannot stand it when either of you gives me that disappointed face. Do not worry, Zevran will make sure you are taken care of," he took her lips with his gently, teasingly.

His tongue stroking lightly over her own and then over her full lips. He then deepened the kiss with a growl when she whimpered. He laid her down on the rug by the fire and slowly began to undress her. His fingers were warm and traced lines of fire down the sides of her breasts, then her ribs and hips as he pulled off her breeches.

He looked down at her admiringly. "You are so beautiful, dolcezza."

She gave him a mock pout, "You're wearing too many clothes."

"Tch, so impatient!" he chuckled. He complied with her wishes, however, and stood to remove his shirt, and small clothes which were all that was left after he had removed his armor earlier. He sunk to the carpet beside her and she turned to her side to face him.

She traced the swirling tattoos that traveled over his chest and further down over his hips. Those same hips bucked when she neared his length. She smiled to herself as she continued. He was fairly well endowed, rivaling Duncan in length and surpassing him in girth. In her experience, elves were generally not as large as Zevran, which, led her to believe that perhaps his Dalish mother had laid with a human or there was human parentage farther back on his father's side of the family. She had no time to think on it further, however, as Zevran pulled her to him so that her body was flush with his.

He did not have body hair save for his loin area and she thrilled at the way his smooth muscles felt against her soft breasts. Something he also seemed to enjoy as he slid his hand upward and squeezed her right breast gently then pulled away from her lips to dip his head and take a pink nipple into his mouth, suckling and licking it until it stiffened between his lips. She moaned appreciatively and buried her hand in his silky blonde hair and then she traced a fingertip over the tip of his ear. The effect was immediate. He rolled her over to her back and hooked one of her legs over his arm. His eyes had taken on a feral gleam and she felt heat bloom in her belly and wetness between her legs. He pinned her with a hungry gaze.

"Minx," he growled, holding her gaze with his own as he lined himself up and slid slowly inch by torturous inch inside her heat. For every inch he would pull back maddeningly and then pump back in deeper, angling so that the head of his cock rubbed against the secret spot inside her on the way back inside. "For that, you shall suffer greatly, I assure you."

"Oh!" she mewled when he finally was seated deep within her, he ground his pelvis against hers, rubbing against her enticingly.

He closed his eyes in obvious pleasure, "Sì amore mio. Questa è una danza che mi mancava. Che cosa squisita si sente intorno a me. Come hai torturato i miei pensieri in questi molti anni."

Zevran pushed her to the point where she was about to come undone and just as she was about to shatter around him, he stopped thrusting and held himself still within her. She wrapped her legs around his hips and angled upwards trying to gain friction. He chuckled and kissed her gently, "No, no Tesoro. You must pay for your impudence. I will hear you beg for me."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "I do not beg."

He purred at her defiant tone. "Oh, my Rose. My lioness. How you shall beg. I shall give you everything you desire, you just need to ask me."

"You have no idea what I desire," she hissed and shuddered when he thrust into her again.

"Do I not? Tell me, Carina," he kissed her throat and let his hot breath travel over her already heated skin as he spoke in honeyed tones. "Tell me how to make you mine."

"I want what you cannot give, Zevran," she said with an uncharacteristic sadness.

"Nothing," he said as he kissed her jawline. "That is the only thing I refuse to give you. You will never know neglect from me, Tesoro. I shall do my best to always give you what you need."

"Love?" she asked, fearing his anger. But needing him to understand the hole that Duncan left inside her. "Ten years I loved a man that I could never truly have, Zevran. I want this. You. However, what about after?"

He stilled within her and she felt for certain that this was it, this was the point where all his flirting and proclamations ended. He would leave her, vows forgotten. "Tesoro," he whispered he looked down at her as he had that night he had planted desperate kisses on her cheeks. "So long ago… you could not know what you made me feel," he kissed her and then began to move within her, rocking forward slowly and withdrawing slowly. He was no longer teasing her, his movements slow, deliberate, sensuous. Zevran kissed her tenderly, stroking her face with his hands. It was...beautiful. Suddenly she realized that he was making love to her.

"Love me," she pleaded with naked desperation.

He shuddered and wrapped an arm around her back bringing her with him so that she straddled his lap. They made love, slow and sweet for what seemed like hours before she came undone around him.

"Zev!" she called out.

"Yes, Tesoro," he purred and flipped her over onto her back again. He picked up the pace, riding out her pleasure and letting it pull him over the edge. He released his seed deep within her, grinding himself deeply, extending her own orgasm.

When their movements finally stopped Zevran gently ran his thumb over her cheek, below her missing eye. He seemed to tremble with emotion. "I never told you why I made you promise to stay away from the Crows. Why I left-,"

Carina shook her head and cupped his cheek. "For the same reason, I wanted to kill anyone who dared hurt you I expect."

He captured her hand in his and kissed the palm. "I was born in a whore house and raised to be an assassin. I knew nothing of love. Or so I thought until... I met you. I thought I was protecting you. If I had-,"

"If I had been there when your old Master whipped you if I had been there to love you, to take care of you. Rinna and Duncan would have been alive now. If I had gone back to my ship instead of playing wicked grace with Duncan, I'd have both my eyes. So many if's. That word does not suit us, Zev. We're here now, together. Let's make the most of it, yes?" she said gently.

He seemed to lapse into thought momentarily and then his forehead rested against hers and he nodded. "It is no good to think of what might have been. Yes. You are right," he kissed her forehead and embraced her. "I suppose we should go find the Siren. Isabella will be growing impatient."

* * *

A/N: I apologize for taking so long between posting. Life catches up to me from time to time. **(Insert long suffering sigh)**

" _Sì amore mio. Questa è una danza che mi mancava. Che cosa squisita si sente intorno a me. Come hai torturato i miei pensieri in questi molti anni."- Yes, my love. This is a dance I missed. What an exquisite thing to feel you around me. How you have tortured my thoughts in these many years._

 _Ciao, mia dolce tentatrice rossa- Hello, my sweet red temptress._

 _Il mio dolce assassino- translates to "My sweet murderer" per google translate, but, let's go with "assassin" :P_

 _Sei la perfezione- You are perfection_


End file.
